Prospect Scouting Report: Erik Thorvaldsson

[Tetricide 693]

Erik Thorvaldsson

Veteran Greenland Youth Academy Defenseman

Age: 27

Height: 2m

Weight: 113kg

 

Erik the Red has finally announced his move to the VHL scene after 10 years in the Greenland Youth Academy. Scouts have already started interviews with the grizzled Greenland veteran. Our own totally unbiased Greenland Scouting crew has been following closely to Erik the past few seasons, anticipating his announcement. Fast, relentless, and egregiously aggressive describes the momentum this defenseman has to take down the next opponent with the puck. It's no wonder he's finally decided to move up in the world -- he's got bigger fish to fry in the VHL than picking on the kids trying to make it in the big leagues and utterly failing because Erik doesn't know when to stop. He's got a bad temper that has often led to making the sin bin his second home (and sometimes taking a nap in there). In one interview, Erik was asked if he'd pump the brakes on being a goon once he transitions over to the VHLM and said, "It's kind of in my nature at this point, you know? I'll probably hold back in the VHL's minors, but no promises once I go pro..." 

 

Pros: Shut-down defenseman. Fun to have around in the locker room. Might give you a noogie. Absolute team player, although he has expressed his disinterest in staying on one team his entire pro career. Will play for anyone.

 

Cons: Doesn't know when to stop -- this includes noogies. Unintentional penalties resulting from aggressive play. Very long history (at least 10 years) of a terrible temper that has often resulted in a fight breaking out, although minor leagues allegedly will not be affected by said temper.

 

The VHL may be the perfect outlet with the perfect players for Erik the Red to live up to his name. Some key notes of improvement our scouting crew has made are that Erik needs to keep his stick on the ice and not on people's faces, maybe slow down next time before you check that guy into the glass, and why do you always smell strongly of fish? Honestly, I think we all deserve an answer on the last note there... As far as a positive note, they mentioned Erik may be a pretty fast skater and sometimes he does a weird jump and spin move during warmup like he's a figure skater and this could prove very useful if he ever decided to carry a puck with him to the offensive zone instead of carrying a player into the stands.

Edited March 12 by Tetricide