The Man, the Meth, the Legend: Ondrej Vencko, his trippy trip and other shenanigans

[Mutti 191]

Hey there! I am sure some, if not all of you know about me. My name is Ondrej Vencko and I am a goaltender. And no, this isn’t some AA club for sportsmen who LOVE to tend the goal. Even though I might have a fair share of connection to that place is your eyes, right?

Anyway, today, I would like to share a little story with you. The story of blood, tears, hard liquor, swearing and disappointment. You guessed it (except if you didn’t), I am going to tell you about my journey to an TELH hockey game in my homeland, the Czech Republic!

 

Coming back to my homeland’s capital, I was feeling pretty nostalgic. You know.. All those memories from my childhood and teenage years.. Things would often get pretty wild in here, just like in Minnesota. I took this opportunity to take a look where my future VHL team will play its home games. It was quite difficult to find the stadium, it was quite hidden. It was like a phantom.

But then I realized.. The main arena was where one of the Prague teams plays hockey. One of the TELH (Tipsport Extraliga Ledniho Hokeje) hockey league teams. So, I went there and what do you know, I was just in time to see a local play-offs match!

However, the match turned out to be much wilder than I thought it would be. Especially because one of the teams playing was Liberec White Tigers. I stayed for the whole regulation, but then a line brawl took place. I guess us, Czechs, still prefers non-verbal communication. You cannot say that about the fans, who instead opted for sounding like a giant herd of cows, with their synchronised ‘BOO’ resonating probably through half of Prague.

No matter, though. I calmly went inside, where the brawl continued and my personal drama began. Two bald-headed, mute guys crossed my path and struck me down with a huge punch in my gutter, which was quite rude if you ask me. Especially with all the beers I had at the game.
Anyways, I am down on my belly, when I noticed the luxury boots these guys were wearing. Certainly a crocodile skin or something. Must have been, as those shoes are called ‘crocs’ or something.
That’s when I realised that these two are some crazy Mexican cartel members that got me mistaken for someone else. Definitely because of the unfortunate inconveniences in a certain parking lot in front of a certain arena of a certain hockey team in certain Houston, TE.

 

.. I was in a bad situation. Certainly.
But you know, sometimes it is best to do nothing, so I just closed my eyes and waited for things to happen. That’s when I heard a meme-ish bonk noise followed by two Ijustgothitwithaplank stunned falling noises. I looked up and saw the man who rescued me. He said he remembers me and that he needs to get back to states. And that he’s sure I’ll take him with me.

So.. That’s how I went on a trip to Czechia, enjoyed my time, almost lost everything and got rescued by an old guy in a funny hat. He even got me a huge bag of blue candy as a reward!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to explain this to the DEA.

Take care, see you at my next spot!

 

-Ondra

 

568 words capped for week ending 03/17/2024