Ondrej Vencko presents: Rebranding shenanigans

[Mutti 191]

Hey there, Ondra here reporting for writing duty once again!

 

It is one week after April Fool’s Day and following the absolutely genius tomfoolery we’ve all witnessed on the forum, we shall have some fun as well. And, as it is the Theme Week with the topic of ‘rebrand’, I was thinking how to approach this wonderful task.

 

So, I wondered... Surely, we love our VHL, VHLE and VHLM teams, especially those we are/were members of. And some of us must also like, if not love videogames. And this lead me to the first idea for a team rebrand:

VÄSTERÅS DESERT EAGLES

And now you all have raised your eyebrows, questioning yourself: “Ondrej, what the fuck have you been smoking again?”

Please, let me explain.

 

I know that at first, this just sounds stupid. How the hell could a Swedish team have any connection to deserts? Well, my dear readers. If you played at least one popular videogame, you surely know that with this rebrand, every other player would have “replica” written on the side of their sticks. While Västerås hockey players would have “Desert Eagle .50” written the side of theirs.

 

These high-caliber beauties can offer striking power, which Västerås’ skaters also possess. And, it may not even be a necessary name rebrand, just logo-wise. Just remember the sentence: “Got some iron on you?” I am sure you know it doesn’t mean you’re going home from a shift in an iron mine. (That is unless you are, in fact, going home from a shift in an iron mine. Or unless you’re playing Minecraft with your buddies.)

Having an iron on them, Iron Eagles with Desert Eagles could shoot their way through all the seasons with no issues!

.

.

.. Maybe.

Anyway, this is not all when it comes to my crazy rebrand ideas. Ladies and gentlemen, behold:

 

HOUSTON BULLSQUIDS

Now I know, it may look gnarly at first but get this: Bullsquid as a creature has a powerful ranged attack, which can deal tons of damage. And just as an angry bull, it gets rather physical when in close combat. We have seen both well-aimed shots and some good ol’ goonery on the ice from the Bulls last season, even from goalies (I just got angry and was NOT AT ALL under any influence of any substance, I swear on my kidneys.), so I think this would be pretty fitting name and identity for a rebrand.

 

And we could go even further, beyond the rink itself. Fans of Houston could be called “BullSquad”.

We also have an alternative coming from the Half Life universe for the post of our GM. G-Man.

We could also call for a Coach for our team, even though not from the Half-Life universum. But I am afraid that this fella has been Left for Dead.

In any way, prepare for unforeseen consequences.

 

If this has any potential, I leave for you to judge. But if this team turns out successful, we could say for sure that the Valves for goal gates have opened.

 

So, these are my ideas for rebrands! I am sure current GMs of said teams will take my ideas into considerations. And if, by any miracle, we get to see new identities in the upcoming seasons, I will surely feel rather chippy chippy chappa chappa.

 

Anyway, thank you for reading this bonkers article!

 

Yours truly,

 

Ondra

 

566 words capped for week ending 04/14/2024

Edited April 14 by Mutti

[Fno 18]

I love the creativity on this post! The team branding you proposed is definitely unique to say the least. Thank you for taking the time to include your proposed logos in your post. It adds the visual appeal and shows you put effort into writing this. Due to the creativity and effort I will give this article a 10/10!

(60 Words)

[Mutti 191]

8 hours ago, Fno said:

I love the creativity on this post! The team branding you proposed is definitely unique to say the least. Thank you for taking the time to include your proposed logos in your post. It adds the visual appeal and shows you put effort into writing this. Due to the creativity and effort I will give this article a 10/10!

(60 Words)

Heheey, thank you! I tried to make this as entertaining as possible, haha!

 

And the references can count down, if anyone feels like it, hehe.

[AJW 2,157]

Bullsquids fits us since all we do is snipe and take penalties in Houston. @The goat of hockey has only been seeing red this season.

 

Desert Eagles with the hand coming out actually made me laugh

[Mutti 191]

44 minutes ago, AJW said:

Bullsquids fits us since all we do is snipe and take penalties in Houston. @The goat of hockey has only been seeing red this season.

 

Desert Eagles with the hand coming out actually made me laugh

Just wait for a player to be named Freeman to play against Houston.

 

Desert Eagles must be fun. Imagine armed hockey players on the ice, lmao.