Personal Log: Stardate 04192024

[MSouthworth 128]

I have begun to be suspicious about the Oslo Storm.  They went from a mediocre third-place team to all of a sudden challenging the great Cologne Express choo choo trains.  That doesn't sit right with me and I must get to the bottom of this.  My dear friend Benjamin Abenduct has denied any wrongdoing by the team.  I don't buy it, I don't understand how a team that can barely play defense gives up 157 goals in 60 games, which is the middle of the pack.  Sure, they are the top-scoring team in the VHLE and offense wins games but defense is what wins championships.  I am beginning to think they are practicing illegal cloning.  No way you can have another Wayne Gretzky that good.  I will petition the league for such an infraction, it is intolerable!  Then you have Antonia Bucatini who should already be up in the VHL instead of hanging out with us lowbies.  The final straw is in the name themselves.  The Oslo Storm.  I know they have to have some kind of weather machine that controls the weather.  I know it's winter but no way it should get that cold.  I have never seen so much snow in my life either.  This would never fly in Miami!  I will petition the league to end these unfair practices!