Dogwood Announced as New Krispy Kreme Spokesman

[dogwoodmaple 380]

"We'd like to congratulate Maple Dogwood for being the next national spokesman for Krispy Kreme," their CEO announced yesterday. 

 

It was not entirely a surprise, given the back and forth that has gone on behind the scenes between Maple Dogwood, his agent, and the Krispy Kreme executives and sources say both sides are glad that it's been formalized.

 

"I've always loved Krispy Kreme donuts.  When I was a kid and I was out running errands with my dad, he always stopped in if he saw that the hot sign was on.  He just couldn't resist it," Dogwood explained.

 

Including appearing on television and radio advertisements, Dogwood's duties will include throwing out the first pitch of a minor league baseball game between the Connecticut Ice Cream Cones and the Dover Donuts next month, as well as refereeing three national eating competitions involving Krispy Kreme donuts.  Included in his agreement was language that precludes Dogwood from entering those contests, as scouts and VHL general managers have expressed concerns about him eating too much sugar this offseason.

 

"I could not be more thrilled and I've already started working on my refereeing skills for those eating competitions. I've read the rulebooks twice and even practiced my form and whistle blowing. Some people might think being a ref for a donut eating contest is a joke, but I'm taking all this very seriously.  Krispy Kreme has put their trust in me and I'm not planning on letting them down," he said.

 

When it comes to throwing out the first pitch, Maple is confident...to say the least.

 

"I was a high school baseball star, so I'm not worried about some little first pitch. I might them with a cutter or two-seamer, maybe 92, 93 on the gun.  I still have a lot left in his elbow.  Do I think this pitch will lead to a potential opportunity for me to play Major League Baseball?  Look, I'm not saying it won't.  Once those scouts see this rocket launcher attached to my shoulder, I expect I'll be getting a call or two from some MLB general managers," Dogwood said.

 

In addition to a monetary benefit he will get from being the spokesman, Dogwood also receives something he called "worth more than gold" - a lifetime supply of free Krispy Kreme whenever he wants them.

 

"Money is temporary, but donuts?  That's how you forge a legacy. I'm pumped to just be able to pull in to any Krispy Kreme location, flash my lifetime pass card and walk out with free donuts any time I want.  There are a lot of great hockey players in this league and some even have some very lucrative sponsorship deals, but call me if you find one as valuable as this.  They're paying me to show off my baseball skills, ref an eating contest, and film some commercials, and I get free donuts on top of that?  Let's just say my agent is going to be getting a massive bonus this Christmas, because he absolutely knocked this deal out of the park.  Who knows, I might even dabble in other desserts in the coming seasons. Maybe I'll be the next face of Oreo Cookies or Mayfield Ice Cream?  The possibilities are endless, just like my supply of free Krispy Kreme donuts!"