Maple Dogwood Named Ferrari Spokesman, Disaster Ensues

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Maple Dogwood, known around the league for his rather unusual off the ice antics, made waves again this week with yet another foray into entrepreneurship.  On Saturday, he became the spokesperson for a car dealership in his hometown of Atlanta as he inked a deal with Ferrari of Georgia.  What was supposed to be a rather simple sponsorship agreement turned into an abject disaster just hours later.

 

"I'm honestly not sure if the ink was dry on the contract I signed, but I sure as heck hope so.  It all happened so fast and I just can't believe how it all transpired," Dogwood said.

 

After the agreement was signed, Dogwood was set to tour the dealership and shoot some promotional material and do a quick interview where he would be driving one of the Ferraris while the interview was taking place.  The drive itself went off without a hitch, but then the entire world came crumbling down just moments later.

 

"So we wrap up the interview and then the show me where to park the Ferrari and I park it.  It's on this big hill, but I don't really think about that too much.  I could hear someone yelling something about a brake, but I told them that my foot was still on the brake, because I was about to park it.  They kept yelling about parking and brake, but I just yelled back that I did, in fact, park the car.  Anyways, I was the last one out and then I felt myself moving forwards.  In reality, it was the car that was moving backwards. I'm glad I wasn't in it, but it started to roll back down the hill towards the entire inventory.  I raced down the hill to try and jump in the car to stop it, but my head coach was there and he was telling me not to because he was worried I'd get hurt. So the car just kept slowly rolling straight into a massive group of maybe 50 Ferraris.  I thought it was just going to be some body damage, which is what I told the guy next to me who looked physically ill," Maple Dogwood said.

 

But as it turns out, it was more than just some dents.

 

When the Ferrari he was riding in collided with the other cars, there was a spark and then the entire inventory went up in flames. The explosion could be heard for miles away and the owner of the dealership had to be transported to the hospital following some significant chest pains he sustained from watching the ordeal.

 

"I just feel awful about it. In hindsight, I can see now that they were reminding me to put the parking brake on, but I guess it's a little too late for that now.  I told the owner of the dealership that I would pay for all the damage, until one of this executives gave me a rough figure on how much that would be.  Then I told him we'd have to talk to the lawyers.  Needless to say, I was immediately terminated from my spokesmanship and I think they even passed an internal official rule which forbids me from ever buying a car from any of their dealerships worldwide.  I don't know if that's even legal," Dogwood said.

 

The star VHLE rookie forward was uninjured in this ordeal and says he hopes Ferrari can simply forgive and forget.  There has been no official comment from Ferrari.

 

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