A Collection of Short Stories (2000+ words)

[SlapshotWrangler 864]

Raimoreo

It was the end of the offseason and Raimo was about to go to sleep. However, being as superstitious as he is, Raimo had a nighttime routine before games. Since the season opener was tomorrow, Raimo started up his routine for the first time since the season ended. He went for a jog, came back. Then he took a warm shower. After coming out of the shower, he did 10 jumping jacks. Then he went out for a drive around the block. Exiting the car, he entered back into his home and played tic-tac-toe against himself. This time, he tied in the tic-tac-toe game. Raimo currently has a 1-2-213 (W-L-D) record in 216 games of tic-tac-toe against himself. 

 

After taking one last jog, he came back inside to complete his ritual. Opening his pantry, he pulled out a freshly bought pack of Oreos he got a week ago for this very reason. Then he took out a cookie and opened the fridge to reach for the milk. He looked up and down, only to realize he forgot to buy milk while he was at the store. Dread filled his heart as he realized that he had forgotten the most important part of his superstitions. He couldn’t eat an Oreo without milk! Unfortunately, all the stores nearby were closed. Dejected, he sat defeated at his couch.

 

Up On The Dometop, A Helicopter Parks

“The fact you’re still playing is insane to me. Anyways, I have a player to scout soon but talk to you later buddy!” Jacques hung up the phone after talking to his good friend and former rival Jaxx Hextall.

 

Sitting on top of the Saddledome, it was nice and serene, save for the cracking roof and the ear-destroying winds. Regardless, this was still Jacques Lafontaine’s favourite spot to eat, much to the chagrin of Saddledome security. Many times, they tried to stop him and explained to him that they did not feel it was safe for him to fly a helicopter onto the Saddledome roof just so he could have a meal. But after the 89th consecutive day of Lafontaine showing up, they gave up.

 

Recently added to the Calgary Flames as a goalie scout and coach, Jacques Lafontaine had been busy looking for potential goalies to develop in the (AHL) Wranglers system. He had spent the day watching tapes of prospects that he and the team were interested in. Looking out into the Calgary skyline, he received a call from the Flames GM.

 

“Hey, we’ve been keeping an eye on this guy playing in Portland. He plays there tonight. Want to go check him out?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Give me a bit.”

 

I’m going to kill that frickin’ bear

Now a scout for the Seattle Kraken, Sigard Petrenko was at a WHL game to scout one of the draftees that the team was considering bringing onto the ship. The former Seattle Bear forward sat down to watch the player. The prospect was a scrappy young player who possessed a deadly shot. A very overwhelming presence on the ice physically and offensively. Reminiscent of a young Ovi in terms of his shot. However, he also had a temper that made Claude Lemieux look like a saint.

 

“You’re outta here!” the ref barked.

 

Sigard Petrenko shook his head in disbelief. The prospect in question had already instigated two fights in 12 minutes of gameplay, ending up with a game misconduct and ultimately getting ejected from the game. Sigard couldn’t believe it. He almost burst out laughing. He rushed all the way over here just for the guy to only play for just over half a period. Getting up to leave, he noticed someone he met by chance during his VHL playing days.

 

“Hey, Ryuu! What brings you here?”

 

Ryuu Crimson, an assistant coach for HK Prizma Riga, was sitting a few rows up from where Sigard was.

 

“Young Latvian defenseman. He’s playing for the home side. Very responsible, very clean, hits hard, hits fast. Big man too. I want him for my team.” Ryuu said, cold and calculated as ever.

 

Sigard sat beside him. “He doesn’t seem that exciting though.”

 

“That’s why I want him.”

 

After some time, Sigard continued to watch the aforementioned defenseman. He realized that Ryuu was right, that’s what made him interesting. In a league filled with high-powered offense, the defenseman played very simple yet effective hockey.

 

“Well, I think I want him too.”

 

“Hell no.”

 

“Oh cmon, Ryuu, you can’t stop him if he chooses me.”

 

“The Kraken have lots of defensemen.”

 

“Well, we’d have him play in the AHL for a couple seasons.”

 

“Why not have him play in Europe?”

 

“That’s unnecessary.” Sigard scoffed.

 

“He’s only 19, he can play in Europe for a few years and make the jump. Plus, I want him to taste competitiveness, not be stuck in a farm system. The HK Prizma Riga will be good for him. And he will be good for us. I’m not going to let you take him to Seattle just for him to become a career AHLer.” Ryuu barked back.

 

“I’ll go talk to his coach about potentially signing him.”

 

“I’ll punch you if you do.”

 

“What?”

 

“I mean it.”

 

“This is crazy! Listen, coming from someone who played in Europe and grew up playing hockey there, I don’t think he NEEDS that time.” Sigard commented.

 

Ryuu stared him dead in the eye. “He will be with the HK Prizma Riga. As a born Canadian who played in Europe for my entire career, I pity the fact you hate your continent so much.”

 

“I never said anything about hating Europe!”

 

Things kept escalating. Sigard threw a punch. Ryuu had a reputation of fighting in the VHL and Sigard was known to hold his own. Grabbing each other’s suit collars as if they were wearing jerseys all over again, the fisticuffs lasted a few seconds before security came in and held them back.

 

“You! And you! You are outta here!” the guard yelled.

 

They both issued official apologies after the game.

 

Sigard, however, still livid at the older man’s behaviour, wanted to get back at him. He was driving around the outskirts of the city to calm himself when he saw a sign for a cow being sold. He smiled to himself. After waiting for the cow’s owner, a purchase was made (for one million dollars!) and the cow was all his. But it wouldn’t be his for long.

 

—

 

Ryuu woke up the next day to the sound of mooing in his hotel room.

 

“I’m going to kill that frickin’ Bear.”

 

Welcome to Portland, Maine!

Jacques Lafontaine’s helicopter touched down in Portland. He was running a bit late because he had taken his helicopter across the border to make it. Then he was ordered to land by authorities because he didn’t have clearance to cross the border in his copter. One convoluted process later, he was now free to go between the States and Canada. Somehow.

 

“Well, at least I’ll be able to catch the second and third period.” He muttered to himself as he approached the building to watch the Maine Mariners play. 

 

Or, so he thought. Going up to the ticket booth, he noticed nobody was there. Huh. The doors were locked and nobody seemed to be inside.

 

“Hm. That’s weird.”

 

Going around the arena, he found an unlocked door and went in. It was completely empty except for one person. A very confused janitor stared at him.

 

“Um, can I help you?” the janitor asked.

 

Jacques was confused. “Hi, I’m here for the hockey game?”

 

“The Mariners don’t play today, sir.”

 

Jacques Lafontaine had been confused before in his life. He was confused when he got drafted by the Wranglers. He was confused when he played against the Seattle Bears. He was confused when he put his pads the wrong way and the goalie coach laughed at him.

 

His phone rang. “Lafontaine, where the hell are you? The game started 30 minutes ago!”

 

Now Jacques was really confused. “I’m here to watch the Mariners but they aren’t playing!”

 

“Mariners? Wait, do you mean the Maine Mariners of the ECHL? JACQUES, YOU MEATHEAD, DID YOU TAKE TOO MANY PUCKS TO THE FACE IN THE VHL? The Portland Winterhawks! WHL! Why the heck would we go after an ECHL goalie? He’s probably already signed with a team!”

 

Oh.

 

Welcome to Portland, Oregon!

After a stern talking to by the General Manager over the phone, Lafontaine took his helicopter and sheepishly made his way over to Portland. Thankfully, the Winterhawks had a homestand and were playing another game there, so Lafontaine still had a chance to watch them.

 

The other scouts were laughing after hearing his story. “You didn’t even think to clarify?”

 

“I thought it was Portland, Maine! I’m probably not the first to make that mistake.”

 

Ryuu scoffed. “How did you survive as a goalie in the VHL?”

 

“I don’t know man.”

 

After more jesting much to Lafontaine’s dismay, the other scouts went in to watch the game.

 

“Well, I got kicked out thanks to that dumb Sigard Petrenko. I’m basically banned from scouting at games here for a while.”

 

“Oh, wasn’t he a former Bear? I feel you, Bears are annoying. Can’t believe you actually fought him though.”

 

“Yeah. We came to an agreement this morning. The defenseman would sign with the Kraken but play for us while he developed. I respect him for doing that, he didn’t have to.” Ryuu said with a slight grin.

 

“You didn’t have to sock him in the face if that solution was possible.” Jacques noted.

 

“You’ll be next if you don’t put a sock in it.”

 

“Point taken and applied. Anyways, I’ll be heading in.” Jacques said, beginning to turn away.

 

“Sure. Hey, do you want this jug of milk? Sigard put a cow in my hotel room-”

 

“Wait, he did what-”

 

Ryuu scowled. “Don’t ask about it, I’m still pissed. But I was able to give it to a local farmer and he gave me a jug of milk in return.” 

 

“Okay, thanks.” Jacques tentatively said, confused but accepting of the gift. He’d throw it into his helicopter later, which he had parked at the arena parking lot.

 

Both men went their own ways. Jacques watched the game just to lose his mind because the backup was playing. After the game, he flew home to Calgary, with a hitchhiker he happened to meet that also happened to need to go to Calgary.

 

Raimoreo Mission Complete!

Raimo was defeated as he sat there with no milk to dip milk’s favourite cookie in. He was close to just calling it a night, despite how much it hurt to not be able to complete his superstition.

 

Just as he gave up hope, he heard a knock on the door. Confused as to who would be knocking on his door, he grabbed a frying pan in case he needed to defend himself. Slowly approaching the door, he opened it to find a jug of milk sitting right there. In utter disbelief and absolute joy, Raimo pumped his fists in celebration and enjoyed his nighttime snack.

 

—

 

Meanwhile, a hooded figure walked away from Raimo’s home and looked at his phone. He smiled to himself. His plan worked perfectly. A week ago, he noticed that Raimo forgot to get milk for his Oreos. Having lived next to Raimo, he knew that the milk would throw off Raimo’s game and that the superstition was crucial to Raimo feeling good going into games.

 

Unfortunately, he had a business trip to Portland that night. He didn’t bring his own wallet and didn’t want to use the company’s money to buy a jug of milk. How would he explain that to his bosses? So he hatched a plan. While he was in Portland, he found a farmer who was having trouble selling his cow. 

 

“Well, you should just put up signs near your field here. That way, people can see them and if another farmer’s interested, they know you’re nearby and can wait for you.”

 

With step one completed, he then met up with HK Prizma Riga management to discuss a potential sponsorship deal.

 

“By the way, I know I’m not involved in hockey but I heard your coach wanted to find a strong defenseman to play for his team. There is one that plays for the Winterhawks here… and he’s Latvian. Ryuu talked about wanting to be a part of building up hockey in Latvia.”

 

Step two complete.

 

He told his fellow businessmen to take a flight. He then pretended to be a hitchhiker near the arena and got a ride from Lafontaine. Then he asked Lafontaine about the milk jug. Lafontaine figured he had nothing to do with it and so offered it to the man, who accepted. Once they landed, he (the mysterious businessman) went to Tuominen’s house to deliver the package.

 

Strangely enough, he wasn’t even a Wranglers fan. He had just bet on Raimo getting over 1.5 points in the season opener.

 

It was all for nothing as Raimo only got an assist on opening night against the Bears, however.

Edited June 3 by SlapshotWrangler

[SlapshotWrangler 864]

Claiming week ending June 9

Edited June 3 by SlapshotWrangler

[SlapshotWrangler 864]

Claiming week ending June 16

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Claiming week ending June 30

[diacope 1,696]

When I noticed all of the short stories starting to come together, it made the reading a lot more satisfying. Glad I took a look  

[SlapshotWrangler 864]

Claiming week ending July 7th (last claim!)