Teenage Angst, Dysphoria, and Agustin Martinez

[SleepyPlayz 41]

I’ve been enjoying my first offseason as a member of the Saskatoon Wild. It’s been a while since I got this much freedom for myself, as I”m sure any high school kid can relate. I’m enrolled in a local high school in Saskatoon, but it seems like they just let me do my own thing, since there’s not much complaining if I hand my homework in too late. I haven’t been held back a year, so that’s a relief. It’s either they don’t care as much as they do back home, or they already know I’m screwed, and they’re sadistically awaiting the end of my senior year to tell me that I’m going to have to repeat a few years. That doesn’t concern me right now, honestly.

 

The Wild haven’t been the best team in the VHL, and it’s not that big of a deal for me, but I”m sure it’s disheartening for some of the coaching staff and general managers. I want to make it up to them somehow, but I’m already not caring for myself mentally enough. It’s not like there’s much of a way that I can’ help with a screwed up mental state and a mind that’s almost always racing. I broke my mirrors the other day because I saw a reflection that wasn’t me staring back, it’s starting to annoy me how often that woman’s there. Of course, I was berated by the people who accepted me into their home for breaking my mirrors for the eighth time since coming here, but they’re weirdly not as strict as my actual parents. They tell me off, but they don’t do anything else, physically at least. It’s a bit of a mental strain though. I’m sure they understand that I do everything myself anyways, that I don’t need their input in my life. I’m just someone who lives with them, and they don’t have to keep replacing my mirror. 

 

Despite booking myself an appointment about a month ago, I haven’t gotten a call back yet, and it feels like it’ll be decades before I do get a call back eventually. Maybe the world around me is just going to shit, and I haven’t been able to keep up with all of the news articles talking about erasing people. I hear it all the time on the internet, but I’m not the biggest fan of scrolling through news articles relating to a billion unrelated topics that most likely aren’t my issue. I don’t read a lot of articles online though, so maybe my perception of the world is slightly warped by just what the internet world wants me to view it as. Ah, that reminds me. The internet is a strange place. On one hand, you see people like me in a state of mind that would be extremely harmful to most, while on the other hand, you see others who are entirely unaware of their surroundings, who will cry about the things they post getting backlash. It’s annoying to see these people getting pissed off when someone else doesn’t like what they like. 

 

Edited Monday at 05:09 PM by SleepyPlayz

[mattyIceman 1,217]

Ah, teenage angst...

 

Happens only once, friend. 

[SleepyPlayz 41]

59 minutes ago, mattyIceman said:

Ah, teenage angst...

 

Happens only once, friend. 

Indeed it does! Indeed, it does...