Xhekajs Middletoe Overcoming insomnia (written in constantly almost incoherently switching person views)

[Xhekajsleftankle 21]

Xhekajs Middletoe Suffers immensely with insomnia, the narrators said, well humming to the beat of twinkle twinkle little star. The Crazed captain Xhekajs Middletoe thought to himself how he COULD NEVER SLEEP and only managed 5 hrs of sleep a night making his performance far from match his immensely good skills. “Ex Halifax Gm and Current  Malamo Gm, LucyXpher, truly believes in his potential going out of her way to trade for said future hall of famer.” - Said the genius anonymous godlike being (all likelihood it is Xhekajs Middletoe immensely under stating himself). LucyXpher said once “Xhekajs Middletoe lack of point production is more than likely due to his chronic sleep deprivation”. A second godlike being that sounded oddly similar to the first, reported that Xhekajs middletoe was seen MEDITATING???? It is believed that these reports are in fact true, said the news reporter on a never seen before broadcast, who was for some reason singing the news to the tune of The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round. Xhekajs MIddle toe was watching the reporter reporting about the reporter singing to the tune of Wheel on the Bus go Round and Round, whilst he should have been upset that he was being watched so closely he was more mad that they reported it as Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round and not twinkle twinkle little star, like THEY ORIGINALLY DID WHAT THE FUCK. At this point the totally stable Xhekajs Middletoe whilst watching the late night Newsception, got up and tried meditating prior to trying to sleep. The Meditation worked, said the creep in the closet pretending to be the narrator. The beauty Middletoe paid no mind to the creep as he was too relaxed to be bothered by such a hooligan. The hooligan later reported to the media that Xhekajs Middletoe was practicing Bi-phasic sleep. What a nerd. This Bi-phasic sleeping pattern seems to be working as the news reported that Xhekajs middletoe was waking up far more energized than ever before, reported the reporter who generally reported the reporter strangely not reporting the reporter, and just doing first hand reporting. That's strange though the neighbor watching Xhekajs Middletoe watched the news, which was only one news and only reported once. Xhekajs Middletoe was so focused solely on his hockey skills that he didn’t even notice the preposterous thing of newsception un-ceptioning said the news anchor of the normal not-ception news ironically and inadvertently doing newsception whilst reporting on Xhekajs Middletoe. The mailman noticed a tree uprooted, it's not relevant to anything but he did notice it. BUT the mailman also noticed a Cat climbing in through a window of the neighbor's house, also not relevant at all, it was the neighbors cat. Xhekajs Middletoe looked out the window at the Mailman inconveniently not delivering mail and thought wow, that's inconvenient, as Xhekajs Middletoe continued to not practice hockey. The news reported this, somehow understanding Xhekajs Middletoes own thought???? He thought wow that's creepy, but I probably should stop doing everything I don’t need too, and start doing things I need too. What is really the purpose of doing everything that doesn’t matter when there is so much in front of him that he could actually work on, so much for him to improve on, so much potential for such a powerful character. 

Newsception went off the air, realizing that reporting about something already reported is inherently pointless, especially when the only viewer is the only person who actually lived what's being reported. The two god-like beings randomly disappeared and were never heard from again, and finally the neighbor moved, realizing his whole purpose of just being a watcher, to simply just experience someone else's life wasn’t enough for him. Then Xhekajs Middletoe woke up, really weirdly looked at a wall and said, “Back to you charles” Who the fuck is charles thought the creep in the closet… Yea he was real. And arrested as he unknowingly said that out loud. Xhekajs Middletoe has yet to go a day without meditating or sleeping bi-phasicly, and since he’s made these lifestyle changes, he hasn’t gone a single sim without a point… Hypothetically. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Xhekajsleftankle