Peepants Draft Leaks?

[JardyB10 4,865]

BASEMENT (PP) - The S78 Off-Season is finally underway, and there may be nothing more exciting in an off-season than the VHL Draft. Teams that struggled throughout the regular season get a chance a franchise player, those who dreamed of reaching the VHL get one step closer to that goal, and fans at home can speculate how teams will improve over the next few seasons.

 

For mediocre former Miami Marauder Poopy Peepants, his inevitable jump to the VHL won't be a pretty one. However, he does seem destined to be selected in the Top 5, meaning that he will almost certainly be selected with a non-playoff team draft pick. The question is, who exactly missed playoffs this season, and who owns their draft picks? The "bottom" 6 teams, as well as the location of their 1st round pick, are as follows:

 

1. Vancouver Wolves (VAN)

2. Davos Dynamo (DAV)

3. Toronto Legion (VAN)

4. Moscow Menace (MOS)

5. Los Angeles Stars (LAS)

6. Riga Reign (RIG)

 

Most teams are still in possession of their own 1st Round draft pick, with the exception of Toronto, whose pick belongs to Vancouver. Thus, it seems likely that the Wolves will be selecting 1st overall, depending on how the Lottery Tournament and the lottery itself pans out. Speaking to that, the tourney standings appear to be as follows:

 

1. Toronto Legion (7-3-0) (+5%)

2. Riga Reign (6-2-2) (+2.5%)

3. L.A. Stars (6-3-1) (0%)

4. Davos Dynamo (5-4-1) (0%)

5. Moscow Menace (4-5-1) (-2.5%)

6. Vancouver Wolves (2-7-1) (-5%)

 

This makes the lottery odds:

 

1. Vancouver Wolves: 25%

2. Vancouver Wolves (via TOR): 22.5%

3. Davos Dynamo: 22.5%

4. Moscow Menace: 10%

5. L.A. Stars: 10%

6. Riga Reign: 7.5%

 

Where does that leave Peepants? Despite him being a Poopy Peepants, being the top defensive prospect (albeit not by much with Erlantz Jokinen right behind him) gives him the potential to be selected higher than he has any right to. With the Wolves having two picks guaranteed in the Top 4, and having a strong goaltending prospect in Aike van Giersbergen, it's not unlikely that they may opt to shore up help in every position and select both Tyler Reinhart and Peepants. Interestingly enough, the next most likely team to win the lottery, the Dynamo, are the only other team that may not inclined to select goaltender Papa Emeritus at their first opportunity, which mildly increases Peepants' odds of being selected early.

 

In conclusion, the draft order at this time is uncertain. What is certain, however, is that Poopy Peepants will not be selected 1st overall, as that unfortunate honour will go to one of T. Reinhart or Emeritus. The Dynamo and the Menace are two teams deep on forward, therefore Peepants and Jokinen would be sensible picks for those teams. Therefore, after some professional and biased analysis, you can be certain to see your favourite brown drawered defenceman being selected anywhere from 2nd-4th overall in the S78 VHL Draft. Does he deserve such a high pick? No. Could he drop lower than 4th overall? Sure. Will he? Probably not.

Good night.

 

- 516 words