Life after VHL

[MetalToday 266]

I have thought a lot about what I will do when my hockey career is over, I know it seems too early for me to think about, but the fact is that I have been roughed up a lot, and what happens if my career ends earlier than expected? Its something that many players seem to be thinking about recently, and my goal is to reach another level after I complete my expectations in the league. It is quite simple. Drink. More. I dislike the fact I can’t drink at the games, or I will be “kicked out” or something. I just like the taste and how I feel after that 4 shots and a dozen cans. The plan is not to just drink and pay money, no, my plan is to get contracted by alcohol sponsors and they pay for my drinks. This would be great for the company to have a star player on their boxes and cans, and maybe, just maybe, I will be connected to the Watchmen again with their alcohol sponsor. Wouldn’t that fit so well… Obviously it will be hard to get the sponsor, but with someone like me and who can hold alcohol like me, it only makes sense right?

 

Although my drinking will take up the majority of the day, I need to have some other things to do, don’t I? That is why, when I leave the league for retirement, I will then date and marry my drug dealer. Shell be able to give me all the best and hot deals for the drugs, and yes, I will be more active with steroids at that point. I remember when I was in the VHLM, there was less restrictions for that kind of crap, and they never did check ups. It is pretty sad that now I am in Europe that they care about the steroids, and the crack, and the marijuana, like give it a rest why don’t ya? Let me do my thing bro. Regardless, I will marry her and live a happy life, high, strong, drunk, exciting.

 

They always ask, do you want kids? When are you having kids? Do you have a girlfriend? The answer is, no, never and no. I don’t want to worry about someone else’s feeling and listen to them complain when I sign elsewhere or get traded or even move up to the big leagues, so screw that, I live on my own, for myself. When I am done hockey I will live with my drug dealer wife, but that is it. No kids, no pets, nothing but myself, and her. Plus, not gonna lie, I would definitely forget to feed them all, and they are gross and messy.

 

In the end, my life will be a success and accomplished if this is how my life works out. I am excited to break records in the VHL and party morning, day, and night after that. I think this is the plan my parents had for me, I think they will be proud!

[MetalToday 266]

claim week 24/10