Into the Maxx: The Daily Diet of an Upcoming Star

[lemonan 49]

Into the Maxx: The Daily Diet of an Upcoming Star

 

Introduction:

    Many may believe that the key behind Marshall Maxx’s bone crushing hits is lots of practice and a good amount of time in the weight room, and both of these are very true. However, in addition to these two, it is just as important for Maxx to follow a strict and disciplined diet in order to become as strong and fit as possible. In this episode of Into the Maxx, we interviewed Marshall Maxx about his daily eating habits and got a bit more understanding into the eating habits of your favorite hockey stars.

 

Breakfast:

    While most people probably eat things like cereal, a few eggs, or pancakes for breakfast, Marshall Maxx does things a bit different. In our interview, he noted that “Things that are not meat are for the weak. The average person’s breakfast does not have close to enough meat. To be frank, I don’t know how people like that exist.” Continuing on, he explained his average breakfast meal. “First, I go out to the farm and grab a mountain of eggs from the cages. Then, I scramble them up with about fifty slices of bacon and one hundred links of sausage, no more and no less. On a cheat day, I’ll allow myself a slice of toast, but that’s a rare treat.”

 

Lunch:

    After a good six hours of weight lifting in the morning, Maxx fairly gets a bit of an appetite for lunch. At lunchtime, Maxx usually has a good meal of homemade rotisserie chicken. In our interview, he recounted to us about his average lunch: “Yeah, I go out to the farm after my training and I grab a few chickens. Oh, how many? Umm, well, if I’m not hungry… probably around twenty. But if I’m hungry that can go up to fifty. It just gets a bit pricey around there, even my VHL salary isn’t enough for that. I butcher ‘em real quick, and then I cook them up in the rotisserie oven. After that, I get a quick drink, a gallon of protein shakes, and get ready for practice."

 

After Practice:

    After a good practice or a game, Maxx drinks exactly two gallons of milk to strengthen his bones. After a good win last week, the rest of the Marlins locker room cheered on Maxx as he chugged down the milk in celebration. In addition, Maxx has a tradition when he gets home, telling us: “When I get home after working myself to the limit, which is of course every day, I’ll take a quick trip to the local grocery store and buy out their entire stock of protein bars and steak. Then, I’ll get my personal chef to cook up the steak and have everything as a good filling dinner. Of course, I need a bit of water to rinse my throat with all the protein bars, but I also add protein powder to that to maximize efficiency.”

 

In Conclusion:

    In short, we were shocked at the amount of food that Maxx is able to eat on a daily basis. Our math team did the calculations, and the total amount of calories that Maxx averages per day is more than 300,000. He is a freak of nature, and one that cannot be understood by doctors. He should be dead by now. When questioned about what he thought about his diet, Maxx replied “In the end, I think my daily meal is pretty healthy, but I think I tend to eat that piece of toast at breakfast a little too often.” This man is insane. Is it safe to be near him? No, opposing players should be terrified of this man on the ice. 
 

 

624 words, claiming for week of 12/26

Edited December 27, 2021 by lemonan

[Shindigs 1,771]

4 hours ago, lemonan said:

No, opposing players should be terrified of this man on the ice. 

Screw the ice, if Bo sees him at the grocery store he's still running for the hills!

 

Overall just an absolutely ridiculous article, as expected when dealing with one half of the the infamous "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" Defense pairing. The formatting, grammar etc. was on point, the cheat day quote was hilarious. As always I love these little pieces that really brings your player to life. Which this article really does. Now we just need more insight into what exactly Mr.Maxx does to get his Checking so darn high? Does he practice by body slamming tractors in the yard? Who knows? But I think we're all looking forward to seeing what new madness you have in store.

 

Rating : MM/MM