I has start my Canada career as best Sahara hockey player!

[woog 61]

Hello to you Canadas and Muricas hockey players!

 

I m new to your league and have this week just landed in Saskatuna to play first hockey games on real ice! Imagine luxe to live in country where ice is free and plenty full? Is long dream of me.

 

My name is Keita Kourou and I am sixteen years age best hockey player from Mali EVER. If you no know, Mali is country with much much desert and few few ice. I learn play hockey because sisters had field hockey sticks from missionary my father killed on sight, so played many happy games of club sisters with field hockey stick as child. Then I learn club in field hockey can only use one side of stick and use wifi in Tombouctu to find better way. Better way is hockey on side of giant ice cube. Internets agree this. I research this hockey on ice with internets and learn more of it. Soon I club my sisters on head with BOTH sides of stick equal. 

 

One day papa say I club sisters too much and club me until I run away. I run to desert and learn to slide down dunes like ice cube skaters on internets. I steal little ice cubes from Tombouctou tourist drinks, tie them to old socks and pretend skating down dunes until ice melt and socks wet. 

One other later day I meet missionary without Papa to kill missionary. Missionary see me with stick and hear my dream to play on giant ice cubes of Canada like Wayne Gritty and Mary O Lummox. Missionary say he bring me to Canada to learn me hockey things and more things. I consent and leave desert home of Mali.

 

Missionary talk too much of things not hockey, so I club him with both sides of hockey stick. He abandon me in place of Church Chill, Many Toe Ba. I meet polar bears, I stand on ice cube big as horizon and smile big smile as buttocks freeze for I have find place of natural hockey. 

 

After mythical sickness called hippo therm you, I wake in hospital in Saskatune. Doctors say I cured. Head doctor say I strange. But nurse say I healed more when holding hockey stick. So she give ride to hockey temple of Saskatuna. Now I Saskatuna Wild. 

 

I learn moving on ice with skates. I learn moving on ice with pads. I am fast because desert learnings. I need fast because I 16 and grown men club me with stick harder than I club back.

 

Biggest learning is play hockey with team. Sliding down desert dune is lonely hockey. Move fast straight line, hard work keeping puck in front and not puck sink in sand. Puck not sink in ice. Skate straight line crash into thugs. Some thugs are my thugs, some thugs are enemy thugs. I club all with stick until I sure. And skate faster. And learn to skate with turning.

 

Hockey with turning is new hockey for me. Hockey with team thugs is new hockey for me. But I m Keita Kourou, best hockey player from Mali histories. I learn these new hockeys from Saskatunoid team thug mates.

Edited October 14, 2022 by woog
boosting word count for media spot TPE.