London United Press Conference

[JCarson 722]

So I was just watching a show and their was a Dad joke told, Guy turns to his vet, and asks, do you ever get people bringing in dogs with fevers.  The Vet says sure we do.  The guy says, do you ever treat them with mustard. The vet, perplexed says, No, why do you ask.  The guy says because mustard makes hot dogs better.

 

So in tribute of dad jokes and other "pun" ishable statements we are going to play a round of finish this sentence, London United edition.

 

1) Okay so finish this story, Two London United Forwards enter a bar ....

2) Two London United Bot players were sitting around after practice, one says to the other ...

3) It is the second intermission, the game is tied and Jacob is giving a rousing intermission speech.  "Let's go out there and ...

4) The local newspaper prints a headline about the London United it read " London United team caught...

5) I want creativity on this one " Molly the Cat is suspended by team for ..."

6) Lastly I want you to write a limerick about London United or a player on London United  (be nice or at least funny)

Edited September 24, 2023 by JCarson

[jacobcarson877 2,521]

1) and have two tall glasses of water and a protein shake, because they have a big game tomorrow!
2) pass the soap! The other one shakes their head and says "no soap - Radio!"
3) get pucks in deep! keep the goalie busy! go in hard to the corners! cover the passing lanes!
4) Winning double the legal limit!
5) Being an actual cat. The league policy and by extension team policy requires all players to be human of nature, as part of the Human-Alien Sports and Recreation Amendment of 1814.
6) Molly the Cat sharpened her skates

     Preparing herself for the big game that awaits

     She practices her paw eye by batting some pucks

     And rousing the team yelling "Let's get these f***s!"
     That's just what makes her one of the greats!

[Aimee 1,119]

On 9/24/2023 at 6:31 PM, JCarson said:

So I was just watching a show and their was a Dad joke told, Guy turns to his vet, and asks, do you ever get people bringing in dogs with fevers.  The Vet says sure we do.  The guy says, do you ever treat them with mustard. The vet, perplexed says, No, why do you ask.  The guy says because mustard makes hot dogs better.

 

So in tribute of dad jokes and other "pun" ishable statements we are going to play a round of finish this sentence, London United edition.

 

1) Okay so finish this story, Two London United Forwards enter a bar ....

2) Two London United Bot players were sitting around after practice, one says to the other ...

3) It is the second intermission, the game is tied and Jacob is giving a rousing intermission speech.  "Let's go out there and ...

4) The local newspaper prints a headline about the London United it read " London United team caught...

5) I want creativity on this one " Molly the Cat is suspended by team for ..."

6) Lastly I want you to write a limerick about London United or a player on London United  (be nice or at least funny)

1. and one says 'let me buy us some shots' and the other says 'couldn't do that on the ice last season?'

2. 'we have no arms', 'what do you mean?' and then they start screaming at the reality of their existence.

3. 'be kinda good today, okay guys? please?'

4. 'playing a game of Clue while team member lays on the ground dismembered'

5. peeing in the visiting team's litter box and leaving hairballs in all visiting helmets.

6. There once was a player named @Triller

    Whose skill on the ice was thriller.

    But off he would struggle, needed to be wrapped in bubble,

    As he walked himself into a pillar.

[Daniel Janser 2,159]

32 minutes ago, aimkin said:

'playing a game of Clue while team member lays on the ground dismembered'

or rather disembowelled...

[Triller 1,650]

On 9/24/2023 at 3:31 PM, JCarson said:

So I was just watching a show and their was a Dad joke told, Guy turns to his vet, and asks, do you ever get people bringing in dogs with fevers.  The Vet says sure we do.  The guy says, do you ever treat them with mustard. The vet, perplexed says, No, why do you ask.  The guy says because mustard makes hot dogs better.

 

So in tribute of dad jokes and other "pun" ishable statements we are going to play a round of finish this sentence, London United edition.

 

1) Okay so finish this story, Two London United Forwards enter a bar ....

2) Two London United Bot players were sitting around after practice, one says to the other ...

3) It is the second intermission, the game is tied and Jacob is giving a rousing intermission speech.  "Let's go out there and ...

4) The local newspaper prints a headline about the London United it read " London United team caught...

5) I want creativity on this one " Molly the Cat is suspended by team for ..."

6) Lastly I want you to write a limerick about London United or a player on London United  (be nice or at least funny)

1.  They both sit down and order a drink.  "What are you doing here", says one forward to the other.  "I'm hoping to get lucky tonight, how bout you?" "Same" says the forward.  They both sit there drinking for many hours, noone else shows up.  The bartender wanders over and asks, "who are you two waiting for?" They both look at each other and in unison say, "Simon."

 

2.  "How was practice for you?" The other bot says, "I didn't touched the ice." "Same here."

 

3.  Do what we have trained to do!  Trip them, slash them, spear them but stay out of the box everyone, c'mon!

 

4.  Mooning all of London while riding the London Eye!  Team bonding!

 

5.  Peeing in the shoes of every player on the team after a big loss.

 

6.  Have you played against the goalie in London?

They send the opposing team runnin'.

Take a million shots,

They will stop them all,

Cause Teno is an actual brick wall!

@aimkin