Swirling Clouds of Wonder: The Cult of Simon Reborn

[jacobcarson877 2,541]

There is lots of speculation in the amateur scouting community about the S94 VHL Entry Draft. A lot of the kids are simply too young to have an established projection. There is a particular set of players however, 2 to be exact, that are starting to make a name for themselves in their respective programs.

 

They skate around the ice, shrouded in a mist of ice shavings and sweat, completely unrecognizable. They never get dropped off or picked up. In fact no one has seen them arrive or leave their respective facilities. They do not play a set position, often rotating seemingly at random throughout the games. They even mysteriously don the goalie pads on occasion.

 

Their teammates and coaches never mention them, and the commentators don’t have their number on their roster cards. The scoresheet just has some random symbols in an inhuman language at the bottom, and we all just assume that is the identity that these players are going with.

 

They have been obsessively studying tape of two existing VHL stars, Landon Wolanin and Molly the Cat. What relation each has to each other is a complete mystery, but sometimes if you walk the halls you can see the bright blue flashes of a Titans game, or the red, white and blue of a United game.

 

How do we even know these players are eligible for the S94 VHL Entry Draft? Well to be entirely honest we don’t. Commissioner Josh Da Silva can’t quite figure out why these strange symbols are even on the online draft portal. It appears as if the paperwork was completed and reviewed, approved by one S.T. Immediately after discovering this paperwork, the Commissioner team all took an emergency meeting, with people reporting a choral chanting of “Praise be to Simon” for many hours before the doors opened back up again.

 

So how do these enigmas stand up against the other prospects in their age group?

 

Well there doesn't seem to be a ceiling for these two players. They train harder than anyone else, they player harder than anyone else, and they are growing at an enormous rate. They seem to have been born for hockey. The only question is whether they’ll be able to keep growing to compete in progression. Then they’ll have to figure out how they match up with and against each other. There is a world where these are 2 franchise centers, or opposing goalies. Perhaps a defensive pairing, or opposing wingers. A blueline quarterback and an offensive dynamo. There truly is no telling until they declare their positions after the S92 Trade Deadline.

 

We’ve seen actual Board Games, Dinosaurs, and fictional characters make an appearance in the VHL, but only time will tell what form these swirling masses of ice and sweat declare themselves as. Whatever they are has the Commissioners in fear of the wrath of S.T. and amateur scouts around the world.

 

A few of these scouts have reported chronic nightmares, of these wonderkids standing over a large basin of blood, with a picture of a Quebecois man, with the eyes cut out.

[Triller 1,665]

I've heard that when these two undefined entities clash in the low lying fog that floats above the ice, they briefly combine into a storm cloud inside the arena that takes the shape of past VHL legends.  Just what I've heard.

Edited September 30, 2023 by Triller

[JCarson 730]

Article Review:  It appears we have a building mystery in the league.  I look forward to seeing how this builds, how the identities of this mystery are revealed.  I can only imagine that there is a long standing plan that is finally coming to reality.  We shall see how this unfolds over the next few drafts.  I expect that we will see and hear more as the seasons unfold.  I for one am waiting.

 

I give this fun future looking article a 9/10 we need more mystery in the league, intrigue for the future.