Gretzky’s Miraculous Recovers from Broken Everything Only To Rebreak Everything After Shocking News

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It was supposed to be a day of celebration for “The Archduke of Deking” Wayne Gretzky, as the greatest hockey player of all time was supposed to spend the day celebrating the previously unthinkable one week recovery from a broken everything and Wayne “Bullet Train” Gretzky’s immediate debut in the VHLM was set to be the subject of a highly anticipated press conference. However, just minutes before the press conference started, the Ottawa Lynx, who had yet to receive the good news due to a faulty fax machine, announced the immediate termination of “GOAT Town’s Only Resident” Wayne Gretzky’s VHLM contract.

 

Upon hearing the news, “The Man Who Moved Mountains” Wayne Gretzky was understandably shocked and fell off the king’s throne. Seeing “The Immortal” Wayne Gretzky in clear agony, his team immediately called for an air ambulance to fly the greatest hockey player of all time to the best medical facility. Unfortunately, after thorough checks, the horrific extent of the injuries that were picked up were to be announced to the world by the doctors: “The Booty Man” Wayne Gretzky had rebroken his everything.

 

While “The 1^st, 2^nd 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th and 6^th Man” Wayne Gretzky had made a once unthinkable recovery look like a piece of cake, there are no known records of a human being or alien lifeform recovering from a second consecutive broken everything, leaving big question marks to be raised as to whether we will ever see Wayne Gretzky’s perfect posterior ever again, much less gretzing as he once did.

Edited October 30, 2023 by MubbleFubbles