Houston Gossiper: Major Problems in the Mayor Seat

[Mutti 181]

In the shadow of ongoing play-offs, you may have missed several news that happened in Houston! Luckily it is your totally legitimate news source Houston Gossiper with a quick little summary of „What the hell happened while we were watching hockey?“!

 

Mayor Quimby has been put out of function, as he allegedly participated in a religious extremist group’s family friendly picnic. The group has been under investigation for a longer time and everything escalated last Sunday, when a member of the group’s band Testament- sorry, OLD Testament repeatedly focused playing on the G string, as described by one of the witnesses: “More than it’s healthy!” Quimby himself sparked a riot when coming on stage with a guitar and trying to make a joke before he would start playing, saying: “Do you know which chord is the most religious? Gsus!”

 

Following riot caused no life casualties, luckily, but almost destroyed local church building, when one of the passersby, coming back from a black metal concert, tried to down right burn the church building down.

 

Mayor Quimby is now in custody for sparking a violent riot and will face a fine for public damages at the very minimum. Who will take his place is now unsure. Though, one candidate expressed serious ambitions on becoming Houston’s new mayor. However, we only know him under the name of ‘Bob’, and also that he has a rather extravagant haircut and used to be some kind of a ‘Sideshow’.

 

We will see how things turn out for mayor and the new candidate. Once we have the news, you will have them as well!

What, you expected something more? Well, too bad. This was all interesting news I was able to find. You don’t expect me to make up some fake news and disguise them as a serious journalism, do you? I am glad you understand! Until next time, dear readers!

 

Ben Icio del Torro

 

318 words capped for the week ending 2/25/2024

[LucyXpher 1,409]

2 hours ago, Mutti said:

In the shadow of ongoing play-offs, you may have missed several news that happened in Houston! Luckily it is your totally legitimate news source Houston Gossiper with a quick little summary of „What the hell happened while we were watching hockey?“!

 

Mayor Quimby has been put out of function, as he allegedly participated in a religious extremist group’s family friendly picnic. The group has been under investigation for a longer time and everything escalated last Sunday, when a member of the group’s band Testament- sorry, OLD Testament repeatedly focused playing on the G string, as described by one of the witnesses: “More than it’s healthy!” Quimby himself sparked a riot when coming on stage with a guitar and trying to make a joke before he would start playing, saying: “Do you know which chord is the most religious? Gsus!”

 

Following riot caused no life casualties, luckily, but almost destroyed local church building, when one of the passersby, coming back from a black metal concert, tried to down right burn the church building down.

 

Mayor Quimby is now in custody for sparking a violent riot and will face a fine for public damages at the very minimum. Who will take his place is now unsure. Though, one candidate expressed serious ambitions on becoming Houston’s new mayor. However, we only know him under the name of ‘Bob’, and also that he has a rather extravagant haircut and used to be some kind of a ‘Sideshow’.

 

We will see how things turn out for mayor and the new candidate. Once we have the news, you will have them as well!

What, you expected something more? Well, too bad. This was all interesting news I was able to find. You don’t expect me to make up some fake news and disguise them as a serious journalism, do you? I am glad you understand! Until next time, dear readers!

 

Ben Icio del Torro

 

318 words capped for the week ending 2/25/2024

lol this is fantastic and hilarious! As usual, Ben Icio has got his finger on the pulse and is reporting the news that really matters!  So good!