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Bonus Bogus Houston's Gossiper Article: Bonus Shenanigans


Mutti

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Welcome to a sort of a bonus article of Houston’s Gossiper series!

In these few paragraphs, we’ll look at some interesting news and speculations regarding hockey and your favourite team from Texas.. What do you mean, “Stars”?

 

Houston hockey culture is said to bloom in a tremendous fashion! This week, a gathering with few Bulls’ players, team management and team’s fans took place. And fans have been submitting numerous ideas about how to make Houston’s identity even more unique.

 

 

First of all, fans proposed a new goal song. Even though the current one is a total banger (note: this line wasn’t at all forced into article by an incredible musician Ondrej Vencko. Please, don’t punch me again, Ondra.), the people feel like the team could have more fun with their goal song pick. The most vocal proponents lobbied for Rick Astley’s (in)famous hit, as an homage to the loyal fanbase which never stopped supporting the team. As in, the team will: “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.”

 

 

And secondly, fans were really vocal about choosing a new team mascot or, taking inspiration from a certain team in the Northwest, a team pet. Logical option would be a bull but that idea was scratched due to.. Logistical reasons.


One interesting proposal, however, was for Houston Bulls to have a team kitty. It is no secret that Houston uses motifs of fire or even hell in their graphics. And as we all know, cats are (alongside being enormously cute and adorable), the guardians of the Underworld (No, not that movie, calm down.) So who knows! Perhaps we’ll witness a cup finals accompanied with a kitty purring next season!

 

 

Alongside news from Houston, we also got a report from a relatively not-that-insane Dr. Feelgood. According to him, he and his team at Feelgood, Inc. came up with a discovery that can revolutionize the hockey players’ healthcare programs!
That is.. Hockey pucks, in right environment and during right circumstances, can cure players’ toothache in mere seconds! I am not sure how this turns into effect, as it would certainly leave a dent on dentists’ paychecks.. But we’ll see what our little lunatic of a doctor can come up with.

 

 

That concludes the Houston’s Gossiper bonus article! Thank you so much for reading, now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get my teeth fixed.

 

For Houston’s Gossiper

Ben Icio del Torro

 

401 words capped for week ending 03/03/2024

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Omg, imagine getting rick rolled every time the Bulls score, this has to be a thing!  🔥 And I need Houston Hell Kitty for the love of all things fire and brimstone! 

 

I'm definitely gonna pass on the hockey puck dental care tho...

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21 minutes ago, LucyXpher said:

Omg, imagine getting rick rolled every time the Bulls score, this has to be a thing!  🔥 And I need Houston Hell Kitty for the love of all things fire and brimstone! 

 

I'm definitely gonna pass on the hockey puck dental care tho...

"Now: Smile for the cameras and for the puck!"

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