A genuhrashionall talent sniper

[VattghernCZ 1,053]

<shitpost>

 

Have you seen the shots Wann Kerr has been sending on the net, acting as if they were scoring chances?

 

Absolute muffins!

 

Seriously! Soft like pulled pork shoulder roasted for 4 hours at 110 Celsius, excuse my usage of non-freedom units, I only know the freedom units for weight, length and temperature between 20 and 40 Celsius. Is anyone clocking those floaters? I swear to flying spaghetti monster I could run faster than the puck flies 4 years ago, when I was 100 pounds heavier than I am now! 

 

I've seen Kerr shoot the puck on the opponents' net, and it was our own Jesse Teno, who had to make a save! Nothing bad with padding your teammates' stats, but come on you joke of a forward! Good thing Kerr is a hockey "player" and not an astronaut, he would turn the Artemis program into a Mars landing mission, 'cause he's so blind he'd miss the whole Moon!

 

How can you be so incompetent to score 2 goals on 69 (nice...) shots? As a wise man once said:

 

"You miss 97.1 percent of the shots you do take."

 

Oh wait, that wasn't a wise man, that was the Wanker! He's come to miss nets and drink Bernard lager, and he's out of Bernard lager.

 

</shitpost>

Edited March 24 by VattghernCZ