Maple Dogwood Detained at Airport, Possible Espionage?

[dogwoodmaple 380]

Maple Dogwood was recently detained by the United States government for allegedly trying to enter a foreign country without a passport or proper Visa, according to the New York Times.

 

Dogwood, a standout young forward in the VHL, was at a loss for words when confronted about his situation.

 

"This whole time I've been traveling back and forth from the United States to Canada when I played for Halifax, so I just don't understand what the issue is.  I'm pretty sure my passport is valid and the Titans traveling secretary assured me that everything was taken care of as far as my travel goes. I mean, I've gotta get to Helsinki somehow," Dogwood said.

In the meantime, Dogwood is forbidden from leaving Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport and is being detained there by at least three federal agencies.  

 

"All I know is that I just tried to board my flight and then out of nowhere a bunch of guys in uniforms raced out of seemingly nowhere and tackled me to the ground. They were wearing FBI, CIA, and ATF jackets, which really confused me. I mean why would the Central Intelligence Agency, Federal Bureau Investigation, or Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms be after me?  I know I had a previous allegation of insider trading and securities fraud stemming from that meme coin situation a few months ago, but my lawyer told me those charges were all dismissed," Maple explained.

 

When asked for a comment, the FBI and CIA simply said nothing, but the ATF officer apologized and explained that they made a mistake and that Dogwood ended up on one of their watchlists for a reason.  Still, there is more than a little confusion from both Dogwood and Helsinki as far as his detainment goes.

 

Sources close to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said that the CIA and FBI were investigating Dogwood for potential espionage activities.  He's not accused of spying against the United States, but rather accused of spying for the United States, but doing so without official clearance from the proper authorities.  When asked what led them to believe Dogwood is potentially a spy, the source simply said that the CIA is convinced that someone that handsome, that smooth, and that deadly has to be a spy. They would not elaborate further.

 

When asked directly if he was a spy, Dogwood quickly shot down those rumors.

 

"Look, if I was a spy, I would've stolen the Saskatoon playbook when I was with Halifax. We would've wiped the floor with them, don't you think that would've been something a world-famous spy could've done? I mean come on," Maple said.

 

To some, that answer was a curious "non-denial", although people within his circle have been adamant that this entire thing is a joke to Dogwood and that he has never spied on any one for any reason.

 

"I even reached out to our Georgia U.S. Senators for help and their offices said they would look into it. Until then, I'm stuck in this airport. But I have to say, there are much worse places to be stuck.  Hartsfield has a ton of great restaurants, plenty of coffee shops, and loads of space to roam.  I just hope this situation gets resolved soon so I can actually get out of here at some point."
 

[LucyXpher 1,171]

I’m happy to go on record to confirm Dogwood is definitely not a spy… though I kinda wish he was

[Gaikoku-hito 1,996]

1 hour ago, dogwoodmaple said:

he has never spied on any one for any reason.

[Thunder 1,074]

17 hours ago, dogwoodmaple said:

"Look, if I was a spy, I would've stolen the Saskatoon playbook when I was with Halifax. We would've wiped the floor with them, don't you think that would've been something a world-famous spy could've done? I mean come on," Maple said.

  If that’s your defense, you could be in trouble.  Saskatoon playbook is on-line.  Page 1 - Must beat Halifax.  Page 2 - See page 1.