Maple Dogwood cast as Paul Atreides for Dune 3

[dogwoodmaple 380]

As a child, Maple Dogwood never wanted to be anything other than a hockey player.  From the moment he was old enough to walk, his dad has him in skates and was doing everything he can do prepare his son for a lifelong love of hockey.  By six, he was playing with middle schoolers and by 12 he was on the high school team.  Everything was all hockey, all the time. In fact, according to Maple himself, if you would've told him that his life would take a turn towards the silver screen at some point, he would not have believed you.

 

"Me?  An actor?  Never in a million years.  Not that I'm against the idea or anything, it's just that I never imagined I would ever be in this position.  in fact, when my agent got the call and told me I was convinced it was all a joke.  I hung up on him.  But then when he called again and again and kept saying the same thing, I almost passed out.  I mean, Dune 3 is going to be a massive hit and the fact that they want me to star was mind blowing.  I guess there was some big conflict with Timothee Chalamet and some other movie and they said I was the number one choice.  I didn't exactly think I had A-list movie star looks, but they're insisting," Dogwood explained.

 

It wasn't all good news, however, as the VHL commissioner has frowned upon the idea, according to league sources.  Many in the league administration think this could be too big of a distraction, while others are convinced it could help raise the profile of the league around the world.

 

"I mean, there's going to be press tours all over the world.  And I've already told my head coach and my agent that I'll be spreading the word about VHL at every possible chance.  I want to help row the league as much as possible and this could be a big opportunity," Maple said.

 

Of course, there's the elephant in the room.  How will this impact Dogwood's playing career?

 

"That's what everyone is asking me.  How will I manage to play?  How will I stay in game shape?  What if there's a conflict with the game schedule?  Well I've been assured by my agent and by Denis Villeneuve himself that they will work around the league schedule to make sure I can do both.  This is just unbelievable all the way around but I could not be more excited.  I mean it's Dune!" Dogwood said.

 

His former teammates were as shocked as he was when they heard the news, with one teammate saying that Dogwood looked "more like Oscar the Grouch than Timothee Chalamet" and another questioning the production company for the decision.

 

When asked about those comments, Dogwood laughed them off.

 

"Probably a couple of teammates who thought I didn't pass them the puck enough.  I'd be lying if I said they were wrong, but here we are!  First thing I'm going to do is re-read all of the Dune books and start making sure I know everything about the entire universe," he said.

 

Dogwood has also pledged 25% of his salary from Dune 3 to three of the VHL-designated charities with another $1,000,000 coming from his current contract.

[OrbitingDeath 3,229]

Not gonna lie, I hoped they would cast you as Leto II for the God Emperor of Dune movie.

1000+ years of endless dogwood monologue's must be great cinema!

[Daniel Janser 2,217]

Why do I get Alex Daigle vibes here?

 

[LucyXpher 1,588]

I’d watch Dogwood Dune