Mad Villain Scouting Report

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The Villain comes from an unknown world, and time, from an unknown universe, and planet within that universe that is also unknown. His parents are unknown. Might have siblings? Unknown. 

 

What is known about the Villain of course, is that he's bad, and intent on taking down the VHL by infiltrating it through an experimental robotic organic clone like monster player, aptly named the Mad Villain. In terms of his hockey skills, the Villain is absolutely fantastically amazing, and kick ass at everything in regards to being a good hockey player. Such as:

 

Stick to the Face - Mad Villain loves to get his stick up in yo face and cause you to bleed, and then cry about it to the refs.

Stick to the Nads - Mad Villain also enjoys inflicting pain by hitting you where the sun doesn't shine, and he won't shy away from physical contact after.

Stick to your Mom - No, really, just stick with her, she's a nice lady.

 

Cons

 

Mad Villain does not have a single con and is an exceptional presence wherever he goes. In fact, he's very charming, and usually smells quite nice like aloe vera mixed with vanilla and coco leaves.

Okay, well if Mad Villain were to be completely truthful, he might admit to a con, or two. Sure, he likes to take over worlds, and ransom cities for money, but he does have a heart. Yes, he likes furry animals that make cute sounds, and he even enjoys a nice merlot with caviar and a polar bear rug to lie upon. But, even though all of that Mad Villain CAN and WILL get jealous. He believes himself to be the best cook in the history of all time and therefore will outright fight anyone who dares to challenge him, even his teammates.

 

Think you can make the best Swedish meatballs? Think again. I mean, have you even heard of pepper, and don’t even get him started with paprika. What kind of fucked up world is this when you have to try and compete against his Swedish meatballs. So listen, we can make this work, and everything will be fine so long as you respect the cape, and make sure to give Mad Villain a hard hug every now and again.

 

Moving on, let’s get our expectations straight. You will serve the Mad Villain’s wishes and not worry about what sort of scouting report or skills he has. You will make sure to draft Mad Villain and ensure that sesame bagels are on the ready, freshly baked. AND you will, smile when on camera. We’re not doing this again.

[Thunder 1,168]

Can the mad villain be so good without pinky?

 

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1 hour ago, Thunder said:

Can the mad villain be so good without pinky?