Mad Villain's Biography

[Tate 450]

 

 

“The moon climbs high, taking hold of the night’s sky. Cold winds blow in from the Eastern Sea, as crisp as the ocean they sail over. It is the witching hour, and the time to tell the story of the Mad Villain of the Victory Hockey League.”

 

A haunting violin begins to play in the background, adding an eerie feeling that accompanies the narrator. He is from all accounts an elderly man, his face hidden from a cloak that weaves around his entire body. It is hard to determine whether the narrator is a large man or small, as the cloak he dons swirls in the air around him, taking on a life of its own and masking his true identity.

 

 

“Come my children and sit by the fire… for it is all the warmth you feel on this night.”

 

A scream in the distance cuts through the wind, silencing all for but a moment… only for the howls of wind to flow back and then intermix with the calls of wolves. Hungry beasts in the night, searching for their prey.

 

“Like all evil men, the Villain was born of normal circumstance and chance, only to be doomed by the cycle of abuse that he would learn to crave. Yes, it’s true that he sought out the Victory Hockey League, much like all do in the beginning. But once he was deeply entwined within the inner workings of the League, he became obsessed, and lost in his conquest for power.”

 

A white ghost like spirit rushes past the campfire as it calls out into the night, “Save yourseeeeelf,” the ghost cries out, “Ruuuun while you have the chance!” The narrator watches the ghost come and go, seeming unphased by the experience overall.

 

 

“That’s just Tom, he’s kind of a buzz kill if you know what I mean? Anyway, as I was saying – watch out! For it is easy to fall for the path of darkness and seek vengeance, but remember, revenge is a dish best served cold and you’ll likely get sick of it after a while. I don’t like a hot plate or anything but give me at least thirty seconds in the microwave.”

 

The narrator pulls from his swirling cloak a pipe, in which he packs with a green tobacco. The narrator lights the tobacco and sucks in a deep and long drag, exhaling a cloud of vibrant green smoke. He then uses his hands to form a really cute dog out of it, it’s a neat trick, and unexpected. You briefly wonder, what other animals can he do?

 

“An elephant… so perhaps you need to know more about this Mad Villain, and what his angles are? I’m not quite sure about his measurements but he’s in fairly good shape and eats a well-balanced diet. Some may say that he is picky, but in reality, some people have allergies… so, yeah. And you know what, cilantro does taste like soap – to him. I happen to love it.”

 

The narrator draws another drag from his pipe, and this time makes true on his word – he forms a cute elephant with his next cloud of smoke. You’re impressed, it’s better than the dog, and now you understand why he opened with that one. You wonder, could there be more? He nods, and you then wonder, how can he read my thoughts?

 

“Stop getting distracted, we’re here to talk about the real threat. The Villain of all ages that will do something to… well… take down the VHL, and to be fair, I’m not sure he’s really nailed down that plan yet.”

 

The narrator holds his hand to his ear, revealing an ear piece that had been planted beforehand.

 

“What’s that? Oh, you DO have a plan? Yes, no, I get it, it’s great. No, no, no, I won’t say what it is.”

 

The narrator looks at you awkwardly, and smiles.

 

“The ol’ ball and chain, know what I mean?”

 

You nod to be courteous but it’s clear what’s going on, this is a marital dispute. You wonder about the wolves out there, in the wild, could they really be that dangerous? If Tom the ghost was a bit of an overdramatic, maybe those wolves just needed a good belly rub?

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Sorry.

 

“Back to where we left off. Trouble times lie ahead, and everyone is in grave danger. The Villain will not be stopped, and he happens to have a lot of henchmen, and money to spend on this. All of which he will be able to write off against his taxes.”

 

The narrator holds up a sign, and it reveals the words, “Help! I’m being held against my will.” Suddenly a magical trap door opens below him and sucks him inside, and after a brief moment, a new narrator appears in a relatively similar cloak – albeit a bit more fashionable and fitting for the modern times.

 

“Be careful what you wish for, VHL’ers! For you may never know who is listening or watching or something else!”

 

[OrbitingDeath 3,198]

HELLO FRIEND!

[Tate 450]

47 minutes ago, OrbitingDeath said:

HELLO FRIEND!

 

Hello!! I was so pleased to see we're in the same draft class again, it's going to be a great run coming up! 

[OrbitingDeath 3,198]

Looking foward seeing your story unfold too, good to have you back