Pan Daffleck - an scouting report

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Pan Daffleck - an scouting report

We all have heard the backstory of Pan Daffleck, and we all know how the Red Panda ended up becoming a hockey player, but after signing with the Saskatoon Wild, he did not appear on the ice yet, as neither the general manager nor his assistant had any idea what the panda could do on the ice. They decided to have him run an entire day of practice drills instead, hoping they could figure out what his good and his bad points are so they can utilize it for future games for the wild.

 

So after an initial day of playing in front of the scouts, they have to conclude the results seem very disappointing, but to not burn Pan fully to the ground, let’s first look at some of the positives.

 

 

- Able to tie his own skates

Every step on the ice starts with you tying down your skates to make sure you can stand on the skates and not fall over instantly. This part seems to be no problem for Pan. He was able to get in the skates and tie them down himself.

- Walk on the ice in baby steps
Some would say ‘the guy jus’t can’t skate’, but we will try to look at this in a positive way. He can take small steps on the ice without falling already. It’s the foundation for future skating skills, so there is still a chance he will eventually be able to skate a full circle on the ice. 

- Other positives
Well, i think we can stop here with this analysis. It isn’t looking pretty so far.

 

 

So what are things that definitely should be better for Pan?

 

- Stickholding 101
Pan Daffleck has watched a lot of movies in his life, but i don’t think he ever saw a hockey game, he is holding the stick at the end of the blade, and just tried to hit the puck with the top end of the stick. It’s good that his teammates were on a game at the moment, or they would already know to never pass this guy the puck.

- Abuse of officials

To top it off, the guy would not shut his mouth on the ice, no matter how cute the guy looks, he sure had a dirty mouth and blamed everyone around him for things not going his way. No wonder he sucked at every job he ever had, he is just too obnoxious. So imagine him flaming the scouts and trainers he worked with? Now imagine him doing this during games towards referees that can easily send him off? I have a feeling Pan Daffleck will see a lot of the penalty box in his career, as he looks like a goon so far.