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There is an impostor among us


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July 23, Milwaukee, WI, USA - It's been announced that Wann Kerr refuses to admit his old age, and enters the old farts' ProAm tournament as a free agent, joining the Milwaukee Muskies. According to his words, to catch a muskie, you must become a muskie. So it's understandable he joined them, considering how useless of an angler he is, incapable of catching even a single one.

 

Also July 23, Vancouver, BC, CAN - Wann Kerr, enjoying a selection of 13 craft beers, answers a ringing phone. "Yo, Wanker, FrostBeard here, can you still lift a stick? There's a spot for you on the Eastern Europe roster, if you find some time between your ProAm games!"..."Wtf is ProAm?"

 

That's exactly how it was brought to "Wann Kerr's" attention that there's someone using "his" name to join a hockey tournament. Or was it?

 

The day "Wann Kerr" played the first WC game, the authorities in Milwaukee were informed by "Wann Kerr" about an outrageous identity theft, which includes name, likeness, image and even the style of play and taste in beer, as the ProAm "Wann Kerr" is never seen without a bottle of Svijany lager, while the WC "Wann Kerr" always carries a crate of Bernard lager in his car.

 

The official statement from the VHL is "ProAm is not a part of the VHL, we don't care."

 

Upon being notified about this issue, tge Czech Ice Hockey Federation launched their own investigation. "We've hired a specialist," the spokesman said. "He's an eccentric man, this Mister Gervant of Riga. Wears a medallion with a platypus, and two assault rifles on his back. But we were assured he's a professional."

 

Which Kerr is the real one? Is one of them a doppelganger? Or did Juan Ceson repaired the bot that used to take Kerr's spot, when Kerr was locked in Ceson's cupboard?

 

Nothing is certain.

Edited by VattghernCZ
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