Joel Jakobs Biography

[Plate 386]

My Life.

Jakobs was born in Budapest to a typical middle class German couple. He grew up there after an unfortunate baby swap incident. To this day, Jakobs does not know his blood parents. He does know who his real parents are though, and they're a combination of teacher (Mother) and carpenter (Father). 

While walking home from elementary school one day with his friend, who had just come back from a trip to the United States, was sharing all there was to know about American culture. Musicians, jeans, food, but most importantly sports. Jakobs had heard of this sport called ice hockey but had never really indulged himself to learn past that. Once he got home Jakobs asked his father about it, and they together discovered ice hockey. Blessed with the tools and skills required, Jakobs father would make a stick for his son from an old board they took down from their old deck, and made a makeshift net.  

Jakobs spent countless hours practicing shooting the puck, winning faceoffs with himself, and of course checking the boards. His mother would often help him learn the techniques and strategies that hockey players used from old books written about famous European hockey players such as the Sedin twins and Sergei Fedorov. He learned their strategies and would become a very effective and disciplined hockey player.

By the time Jakobs hit high school he wanted to do more than just play with a wooden stick. And so, with nothing but a dream and a small donation from his parents, he set out to Germany with his uncle who owned a fishing company in Wolgast. It was there that Jakobs discovered his true love of hockey. Buying himself the cheapest set of gear he could with the small donation his parents gave him, he looked at trying out for any hockey team he could far and wide. Eventually he would find a team. At the age of 18, he revoked his citizenship so that he could play for the Fischtown Pinguins, since they were limited in the number of foreign player slots on their roster.

Jakobs played in the DEL for quite some time, gaining a reputation of becoming a solid skills player in both ends of the ice. However, his staking would ultimately be his downfall, and eventually the Pinguins would release him after three seasons of service. Devastated, defeated, and broken Jakobs gave up on his dream of becoming a career hockey player and suited up as a fisherman alongside his uncle. 

Business was incredibly profitable. So much so that Jakobs was tasked with setting up a subsidiary branch in San Diego, a potential American market would pave the way for extra income and exposure, new trade relationships and opportunities. 

Little did Jakobs know those opportunities would involve more ice than fish. And it would also likely make his uncle pretty upset. 

The VHLE was something Jakobs had heard of obviously since playing in the DEL. However, no team was even willing to look his direction. His lack of experience skating, playing on a team, or being developed from a young age made him a difficult asset to teach and establish modern hockey principles, since all of his learning came from old school players with dated techniques and mechanics. That didn't stop him when he hit San Diego though. He figured it was time to lace up the skates again and give it another try. Let me tell you, the story of how he even got the contract offer for the Marlins is just as baffling as you'd ever imagine.

Jakobs showed up to the tryout 15 minutes late. Which normally would not be a good start, but for him it was. Admittedly he was spending the time remembering where he had put his old gear in the first place. But the four other members that came for tryouts hadn't shown up at all, and Jakobs was the first and only one to show up. The group that was supposed to be with him took a bus that had gotten rerouted due to construction in downtown, and the deadlock traffic stopped the members from making it to the training facility on time. It was also the bus that Jakobs was supposed to take, but couldn't because he was too late.

Being the only one to show up Jakobs seemed pretty confused. Sure enough the trainers let him gear up, and promptly gave him a set of extra gear since he had still been using the same stuff from when he first played in the DEL as a teenager. The new gear prompted a boost in confidence and the scouts had noted very good senses in both ends, accurate and hard passing, and decent faceoff skills. Jakobs wasn't the type of player that could skate and blow past a defender, or deke someone to the ground, but he could thread any needle given to him. 

His endurance, tenacity, and frankly lack of other talent on the Marlins roster prompted a contract offer once the process had been complete. And after a very heated phone call with his uncle, the fishing venture in San Diego was closed, the boat sold for rent money, and a very bright future laid ahead for the pseudo German Joel Jakobs.

Edited August 9, 2024 by Plate