'I Need A Hat Trick' - To the Tune of 'I Need a Hero'

[Aimee 1,070]

Where have all the good games gone,
And where are all the goals?
Where’s my ice-wise Ahsoka,
Who fought the rising tolls?

Isn’t there a white ice,
Upon a concrete floor.
Late in the game I toss and I turn,
And I don’t know what it’s all for.

 

I need a hat trick.
I’m really trying guys you know that it’s true.
She’s gotta score goals and prove herself good,
Despite the real fact that she’s new.

 

I need a hat trick.
Ahsoka’s had so many 2 goal games,
She’s so fucking close, I can feel it now,.
And she’s gotta score 3 goals a game,
3 goals a game…

 

 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

That’s Ahsoka’s stats falling off a cliff. I don’t know what has happened recently, but she’s gone from 2-4 points a game to barely averaging 1 point a game this whole last week. She was doing so good! And as sang above, she’s had so many games with 2 goals that it was only a matter of time before she finally managed a hat trick. I’m a little frustrated but also just so damn confused. Right now, she’s still averaging almost 1.5 points per game (43 points over 30 games) but I know that should be higher. Nearly every game she’s got somewhere around 30 minutes of play time and there have been games where she manages to do nothing. I’m at my 400 tpe max so there’s literally nothing I can do but watch her play each game and just hope that she manages to pull something out of her Jedi ass.

 

Since my last post she has climbed the rankings but in the last week she’s dropped down a few pegs from her highs. She’s still the number one defenseman by 6 points so I’m hoping she can at least hold onto that for a while longer. Where in last time she wasn’t even on the Assists leaderboard, now she’s 2nd with 28. Don’t get me wrong. She’s doing amazing and I am really proud of the player I’ve built. I am just so confused as to how she goes from being a top player each and every game to multiple games of nothing but maybe 2 penalty minutes. Also, because she’s been accomplishing next to nothing the last few days, each game she comes out with a negative rating. It’s just sad and I wish I could do something to stop the downfall she’s currently in.

 

Oslo overall is doing really well though so I’m pretty happy about that. We’ve climbed from 5th to 3rd and currently we’re on a 4-game winning streak. We’ve got a relatively quiet team but I’m glad we’re getting ourselves together to pull up out of the basement. Spider Panda @Ricer13 has been doing a good job of turning things around in our favor recently and has been giving us that chance to do better overall. I think we have a pretty good chance of making a decent playoff run. Not sure we’ll make it to the finals given how absolutely dominant Bratislava is and even if we do, they’ll just kick our asses. 

 

522 words for week ending 8/25/2024
 

Edited August 23 by Aimee

[OblivionWalker 118]

I really hope Ashoka gets her hat trick soon but the song parody made me crack up. Excellent work!