YNFR's Pregame Routine

[twists 407]

YNFR's Pregame Routine

 

As we all know YNFR lives a crazy double life of playing for the Philadelphia Reapers and acting as the assistant general manager for the Warsaw Predators. He flies twice every day so he can be in person for all of his teams’ games. As you can guess, he has some very strange pregame routines. Every meal before a game YNFR must always eat Olive Garden chicken Alfredo. Inquiring minds wanted to know why, so we asked and he responded with, “Well, it’s certainly not Italian food, but it’s god damn good. Plus, it carb loads me while also getting some protein in”. Who could argue with that logic? After his pregame meal, YNFR must play at least an hour of video games. We asked if he played NHL or another sports game. Nope, he very clearly stated it must be TCG Card Shop Simulator. His reasoning is that he dopamine loads before a hockey game in order to gain a competitive edge over his opponents. We’re pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, but who’s to argue with the winner of three awards in the VHLM last season? After his minimum hour of video games, he does 100 push ups completely naked. He says this helps him get in tune with his primal side before a game. This at least partially makes sense as he has been known to strip down to only his jock strap before getting into hockey fights. Finally, after his 100 pushups, he heads to the rink.

 

Once YNFR has arrived at the rink, things only get weirder. Like clockwork, he shows up to @mattyIceman's office and gives him a bear hug. He then smacks his ass while saying "Get going old man", and skips out of his office. No one has been able to determine the meaning of these events, but he does it every game without fail. After making his way to the locker room, YNFR whips out his Nintendo DS to get some Nintendogs in. He has been caring for a loving Siberian Husky since he was 12 years old. He feeds him, plays with him, and gives him treats, then starts getting dressed for the game. While getting dressed YNFR attempts to curse the other team's top player. He says they're so good four times, then mentioned they will boom him. Once dressed YNFR heads to the ice. He skates exactly four times around the rink then gets into his stretches. He groans very similar to the way tennis players moan while doing each one of his stretches. He then gets up and proceeds to take exactly 69 shots on goal. When asked why he responded, "HAHA FUNNI NUMBER". He does a quick interview with a reporter stating, "I'm only here so I don't get fined" to every question, throws a Taco Bell burrito into the stands for one lucky fan, and skates back to his bench. Finally, as the warm-up period winds down, he skates over to his opponent's bench, squirts their coach with a water bottle, then runs away to the opening faceoff.
 

[mattyIceman 1,213]

1 hour ago, twists said:

Like clockwork, he shows up to @mattyIceman's office and gives him a bear hug. He then smacks his ass while saying "Get going old man", and skips out of his office

I'm going to miss my meetings with You're Not Fucking.

 

Or You're Not...

 

Or You're...

 

I don't even know what your name is actually...