Every Team's "Tough Guy"

[badcolethetitan 1,016]

Every Team's "Tough Guy"

 

NA Conference

 

Calgary Wranglers: Boris Bone Breaker (6-14-20, +8, 138 PIM 176 HIT 84 SB)

Description: Boris Bone-Breaker was traded this off-season in a blockbuster deal that saw him and YaBoi Oven head to Calgary. Living up to his name, Bone-Breaker has been out there breaking bones with already 176 hits and 138 PIM. It's very clear to see that Boris is already a fan favorite in Calgary and players that people should fear. He is not afraid to lay the body and drop the gloves, so teams should look out for when they play Calgary because he's going to injure you without a doubt.

 

Chicago Phoenix: Joshua Schwarzer (25-21-46, -11, 40 PIM 130 HIT 116 SB)

Description: There aren't many players on Chicago, if any at all, so it's a bit tough to pick out a tough guy. However, Schwarzer is tough in the fact that he's not scared to jump in front of the puck. Instead of leading with physical play, he's out there sacrificing the body day in and day out, showing he's willing to put the body on the line no matter what. Any team would love to have such a player as he could be a great piece to pick up at the deadline.

 

D.C. Dragons: LaClapbomb Hitstick IV (3-23-26, -12, 74 PIM 107 HIT 115 SB)

Description: Another player like Schwarzer that isn't afraid to jump in front of shots. He's one of the best shot blockers in the league and couple that with his hits, he's a very physical defensive defenseman that can shut teams down. I mean, in his name it literally says "hit stick" as he's always looking to take someone out. He would be extremely scary to play against and the fact that he's willing to do whatever it takes to win while jumping in front of pucks makes him crazy.

 

Los Angeles Stars: Nico Belique (6-4-10, -11, 37 PIM 161 HIT 12 SB)

Description: Belique is not necessarily going to drop the gloves or block shots, but he's going to finish all his checks. This is a player that's not afraid to lay the body and takes on a power forward type of role for the Los Angeles Stars. He's going to take the puck from you with his physical play and that alone is already scary. He isn't necessarily going to drop the gloves or stir it up, but he's a big body that's hard to get off the puck and that should already scare teams.

 

New York Americans: Callum Gary Yannick Janser (6-37-43, -8, 116 PIM 165 HIT 82 SB)

Description: A physical defenseman and one that can put up points, equally scary. Janser is a defenseman who is just as good defensively as he is offensively and with his penalty minutes, it's obvious to see why he can be scary. He's willing to drop the gloves and stir things up while also setting up plays for his team. This team (NYA) has lots of scary physical players, with Gavilrovs and Richmond being equally as scary. This probably is the most physical team in the league, but they take a lot of penalties which hurt them.

 

Seattle Bears: Lazlo Holmes (18-24-42, -4, 78 PIM 134 HIT 71 SB)
Description: Lazlo Holmes is another physical presence that can also put pucks in the back of the net. Probably a ~30 goal scorer, Holmes is a perfect power forward that will stir things up while putting the puck in the net. He's a great blend of offense and physicality that he will be perfect come playoff time. On top of that, he's willing to sacrifice the body and block shots as well. A perfect player for playoffs, Holmes might be able to stir things up for Seattle in the playoffs and potentially run back another run.

 

Toronto Legion: Toby Kadachi (13-29-42, +11, 90 PIM 208 HIT 7 SB)

Description: A literal description of a "tough guy", Kadachi is having a fantastic season with Toronto. On pace for just under 70 points, he's an offensive weapon that can set up his teammates for goals. Not only that, but he will not shy away from hits, having a whopping 208 hits on the season and probably going to get 300+. He also will stand up for his teammates should something happen and honestly, he's just a great player all around. If he could shoot even 2-3% better, he'd be an absolute unit and one of the best physical players in NA.

 

Vancouver Wolves: Logan Ninefingers (30-25-55, +3, 52 PIM 128 HIT 22 SB)

Description: Vancouver doesn't have a bunch of physical players, but they've got lots of offensive weapons. Their most physical player is Logan Ninefingers, who has found himself more of a two-way player who can play both ends of the ice. Not necessarily a power forward, but someone who can put the puck in the back of the net and also lay the body. They're on pace for more than 40 goals and should be able to find themselves at that mark at the end of the season. I think any GM would take a player that can drop 40 goals and also protect their zone.

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EU Conference

 

HC Davos Dynamo: Antonia Bucatini (24-34-58, +8, 68 PIM 156 HIT 16 SB)

Description: Probably the most physical and offensive player in EU, we have Bucatini. Bucatini will most likely drop more than 35 goals and he'll also have 200+ hits, a prime physical player. Come playoffs, Bucatini will be the perfect weapon for Davos who can stir things up while also scoring. They take a fair amount of penalties, but their play more than makes up for it. Teams should be scared to play Davos come playoff time as they've got multiple physical players on their team, but Bucatini is the scariest of them all.

 

Helsinki Titans: Grimgor Ironhide (25-36-61, +16, 93 PIM 159 HIT 15 SB)

Description: How fitting is it that Ironhide is one of, if not the scariest physical player in the league. He has an amazing stat line offensively, while also having an insane amount of hits. On top of that, he has a ton of penalties minutes and shows he's ready to drop the gloves if anyone messes with his team. This is a type of player that teams really don't want to play in the playoffs. Not only can he beat up your players and send them packing, he will also make your team pay on the scoreboard. Watch out for Ironhide, should Helsinki go far he could be a MVP type of player.

 

London United: Alexandros Mograine (16-23-39, +0, 67 PIM 160 HIT 27 SB)

Description: Mograine is a very physical player. Not afraid to lay the body, sometimes jumps in front of pucks, and is willing to rough it up once in a while. However, he's not like the most insane scariest player. He has offensive upside and has a great physical game, but he isn't like Ironhide or Bucatini where he's a game changer. Regardless, he could be key in London's race to the playoffs as they're gonna have some important games down the stretch where he can make his name known.

 

Malmo Nighthawks: Narnia Shaw (7-30-37, -15, 56 PIM 122 HIT 113 SB)

Description: Shaw is someone who is a great physical player. They're willing to lay the body and not just that, they'll jump in front of every puck they see. The offensive upside might be low, but you need to keep in mind they're on a lower rated team. Shaw on a better team would have great numbers and probably would be 40+ points without a doubt. In a playoff scenario, they'd be a perfect fit for teams, but that might not happen. Regardless, Shaw is one of the scarier parts of Malmo and can help them sneak out some wins.

 

Moscow Menace: Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage (19-39-58, +13, 76 PIM 155 HIT 23 SB)

Description: Bocage in my eyes is in the same physical category as Mograine. They're both very physical and will lay the body, but won't really jump in front of pucks too much. However, the biggest difference is that Bocage is an offensive juggernaut, so team's pay attention a little bit more to him than Mograine. Bocage come playoff time will be an absolute unit with Goncalves, but Moscow is so loaded offensively that there are too many weapons to handle. Bocage might slip under the radar but their physical play should not be ignored!

 

Prague Phantoms: Pan Daffleck (7-22-29, -8, 100 PIM 133 HIT 79 SB)

Description: Yep, an absolute physical monster. Daffleck is not going to generate offense, don't expect him to. However, on the physical side, this is someone who is very scary. 100+ hits and PIM is absurd, he's willing to literally hit anyone and then immediately drop the gloves. Prague needs this type of energy down the stretch as they've got to battle it out for the last wild card spot. On top of that, Daffleck will dive in front of pucks proving him to be one of the best physical presences on a lower rated team.

 

Riga Reign: Ray Stanton (3-15-18, +1, 74 PIM 117 HIT 73 SB)

Description: Like Daffleck, Stanton is someone who isn't going to put up offense, if at all. However, he'll rough things up and jump in front of the puck. He also will lay the body and transition the puck up the ice for his team. There really isn't too much to say about this player, but he's someone that can generate a spark for his team and get them going.

 

Warsaw Predators: Stefan Nikolaev (23-24-47, -5, 72 PIM 116 HIT 67 SB)
Description: I won't lie, Warsaw doesn't really have many "tough guys", same as Chicago. The best they have is Nikolaev who is having an absolute crazy season with the teammates he has offensively. On top of that, he's willing to rough things up and lay the body. He also will block some shots for his team. I think on a better team, his stat line would be much better and he'd potentially be a top tier threat for teams. However, he's on a lower rated team and won't get much attention. Team's will take note of him, but wouldn't be too worried.

 

1700+ words

[Spartan 4,769]

Ruutu FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

[Daniel Janser 2,322]

8 hours ago, Spartan said:

Ruutu FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

Tommy Sleeves FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY