Bash McMurray profile

[Bushito 2,340]

 

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Name: Sebastian “Bash” McMurray

Height: 6'8"

Weight: 225lbs.

Home Town: Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada

 

 

THE top prospect for the Season 100 VHL draft, McMurray has the mentality and skillset to pound your teeth down your throat.A product of the Miami Marauders he basically has no skill to his game whatsoever. His skating is abysmal. Less tangibly, his vision is at a level on par with some three toed sloths. However, there are no questions about his physicality and defense which is great for the old time hockey fans. So far this season McMurray has only played 4 games and already has 8 points giving that a big dumb pylon can just stand in front the f the net and have the skill players bounce pucks off his watermelon head and into the net.

 

 

The Pros of Bash

 

Bash McMurray’s presence on the ice had undeniable advantages:

1. Fear Factor: Opposing teams were more cautious, knowing Bash was always one line change away from sending a message with his fists.

2. Locker Room Loyalty: Teammates adored him. He stood up for rookies, protected stars, and brought levity to tense situations with his absurd sense of humor (he once skated onto the ice in a fake mullet wig for warmups).

3. Media Magnet: Whether it was for his controversial comments, bizarre Instagram videos (like the time he wrestled a wild turkey), or post-game interviews that made zero sense, Bash kept the spotlight on the team — often distracting from poor performances.
4.Heart: Despite his antics, Bash had an unshakable love for the game. He gave 100%, even when his body couldn’t. He played through broken fingers, separated shoulders, and once, the flu so severe he had to be carried off the ice afterward.

 

The Cons and Crashes

 

But the Bash train came with its share of wreckage:

1. Discipline Issues: Bash led the league in penalty minutes for four consecutive seasons. Coaches were constantly forced to juggle lines when he found himself in the box — again.

2. Off-Ice Chaos: DUIs, fights, late-night tweets, and a failed MMA crossover stunt where he broke his wrist in a pre-fight brawl. His off-ice behavior often overshadowed his contributions to the team.

3. Health Decline: Years of hard hits and harder living caught up with him. Concussions, chronic pain, and long-term damage forced him to miss significant time in his later seasons.

4. Tensions with Management: Bash clashed with several coaches and GMs over his role, always believing he could contribute more than just fists. One coach described him as “the most lovable, infuriating guy I’ve ever coached.”

Edited April 11 by Bushito