They're Calling it the MIS-hap

[Rin 297]

Drama unfolds in the Mississauga locker room as season-long starting goaltender Yor Bjorven began the first two games of the Hounds failed playoff campaign on the bench, leaving the lesser experienced Herbert Gilleyes in for a shelling that led to a swift 2-0 deficit in the series. When approaching Yor Bjorven for comment to gain more of the story, a seemingly greater issue was quickly brought to light.

 

"I talk about this for a while," said Bjorven, who had been in a backup role in the previous 8 games before the start of the playoffs. "We bring in new goalie, coach say I've earned rest against weaker teams. I say okay. We play strong team like Houston, this new goalie still take ice first. I ask coach again, he reassure me that I'm still the number one goalie for the playoffs. I say okay, no worries. Give the kid some ice time, is good for development, no?

 

"Then we get to playoffs, I arrive to ice early, I am told by training staff that I'm still not starting. I sigh. I don't know what this is about, but I did not come to the North America to work hard and watch season go down the drain. Issue resolved by game 3, but by then, damage is done. Is what it is."

 

We reached out to Mississauga staff for comment, but were swiftly declined and shown the door. Rumor has been circulating throughout the league that the coach had been staying up all night preparing his strategy, and sleeping in late to rectify the lost sleep. VHLM procedure dictates that lines be provided to the officials well in advance of puck drop, and in his stressful haze of preparation, the coach simply forgot to inform the league that Gilleyes's conditioning stint would be ending once the playoffs started. We were not able to corroborate this rumor, but sources within the team refused to deny it outright.

 

After posting a stellar 0.947 save percentage in relief and losing efforts (for a record of 1-2 in the postseason, with 6 goals allowed across 4 appearances), Yor Bjorven nonchalantly informed the press of his impending retirement in a post-game presser. "Being in the North America, it has re-ignited my passion for alcohol. The hockey has been good, but the booze has been great. I cannot wait to return home to brew a keg for myself, using this new knowledge I have learned."

 

And so the Icelandic Ironman returns home, no doubt to cries of welcome and praise. The country's best tavern is nothing without its biggest star, after all.

[ace_five_ 550]

Seems like you could probably get a whole season's worth of media spots out of this

[Rin 297]

5 minutes ago, ace_five_ said:

Seems like you could probably get a whole season's worth of media spots out of this

 

Nah, a single tongue-in-cheek .com article feels about right to me.