Covington sends memo to teams

[BluObieZ 1,125]

With just over an hour Sir William Covington III has stepped up his attempt to make sure that teams understood his intentions. He sent out personal message to all teams that can draft him in tonight's draft. Each message was different for each team so they didn't "feel left out"

 

Brampton received "You guys might have made it to the championship this season, but you shit a brick and got swept. If you want me only draft me if I am your top line center and if your asses have recovered from shitting that brick. I don't want to play for a shitty team. Pun intended bitch"

Ottawa received "LOL you think I would ever play for you? lol don't even consider me. You don't want me in Ottawa...I should be the ruling monarch, thus making me your king. Do you really want your king playing for you? FUCK YOU!"

Saskatoon received "Yo what up Ahma, If you draft me I will rename the town to Ahmatown"

Yukon received "If you draft me I will bury your fucking town in a mountain of shit, literal shit then pay all the gold fuckers looking for gold to bury the steamy shitty pile with their dirt and shit"

Bern received "You are the Royals, I am a Royal. It's a match made in my fucking head. Be you thought I was going to say heaven huh? to the point your brain fooled you and it read it even though it's not in the message. Brains work in fucked ways"

Bratislava received "LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL NOPE"

Moscow received "Draft me you son of a bitch, you know you want me. I want Russian Rum"

Oslo received "Where the fuck is Oslo? like seriously relocate to a better place. I ain't playing for a place I have no idea where it is and I am not asking Google Now"

 

 

 

[Zero 114]

Oslo's the capital of Norway you DINGUS

[BluObieZ 1,125]

Oslo's the capital of Norway you DINGUS

Knew that was going to for a "ignorant" feel with the comment that Covington is so stuck up he doesn't know where some of these places are... but thanks for your post