The Bern Suck

[BluObieZ 1,125]

The Bern Royals are supposed to be royal… well at least that was the plans when naming the team that. They were planned to be the class of the league and people would always try to catch them… well it hasn’t gone according to the plan.

 

Now they are the worst team in the league, they are expected to end up with the worst record in the league and hopefully the top pick in the S54 draft.

 

But what about S53? What can Royals fans look forward to? The answer is nothing unless your GM’s antics is something. Robbie Zimmers finally makes his long awaited return to being a GM. The last time he was a GM was way back in S8-S12 when he was the GM of the New York Americans. The team was called “The Shortbus” because of the ragtag bunch of cast offs that no other team wanted. The team was filled with guys with horrible attitudes that seemed to get worse when around Robbie.

 

So now Robbie is stuck with a bunch of players that no other GM wanted in the draft and free agency. Players that have little to none trade value. Robbie does not care about this season at all, he has flat out said it himself that he will focus on sitting around and watching his team lose. With limited to no assets he can move for picks his hands are tied. He will not move any of his stockpile of S54 picks because that is exactly what he needs, he needs picks. So unless it’s a few picks for a 1^st or a few for a 2^nd he will not even think about making a trade this season. Or should I say he will not think about this team that has no shot in hell at being a good team this season. Hell it may actually go down as one of the worst if not the worst team in VHLM history.

 

But that does not bother Robbie at all. Even though when applying to the league to become a GM he had no idea that it was for Bern. He said openly if he knew it was Bern he would have waited for a better team to open up. But now that he is the GM of the team he will focus on sitting on his ass and watching his team lose. He won’t watch the games but he will watch the standings.

 

One thing that he wants to move the team to a place that will take on hockey better then Bern has. Since the VHLM only has one conference he can move the team anywhere in the world. A fact he did not know when he announced intentions to move the team to London. Now he admits that London makes no sense. He would like to move the team to one of Las Vegas, Sunnyvale Trailer Park, or New York. Yes! New Fucking York!

 

Sound Familiar? I’d hope so because he is the reason why New York even has a VHL team. He moved the New York franchise from the shit hole that is Hamilton to New York and the rest is history. He never brought them any success as a GM but finally one of his players brought a cup to the team. So moving another team there might be his “do over” so to speak. Let’s just sit back and relax as Robbie tries to work his magic and try to move the Royals to one of those cities.