A truly Robbie Story

[BluObieZ 1,125]

So… I am sure you have noticed my absence around the league. Even if you don’t want to admit it, but when I go away you wonder where the entertainment, assholic ego…ness went. Well, I am about to tell you one epic fucking story that will make your head spin. 

 

So, about 3 weeks ago I was at work, I was tired and bored. It was a very boring day of inserts and the actor just couldn’t hit their fucking mark. To the point I put my walkie down and told my AD to tell me when they finish the shot right. They asked me how they will tell me if my walkie is not me. I told her to figure it out. When I get pissed I just walk away and just need to get away from what is pissing me off. They went another 45min with the very same shot. I told them to turn around and do it on a reverse. An hour later it was fucking lunch. I told people to leave me alone while I eat. Well guess what the actor does, he comes to me and apologizes. I told him kindly go eat elsewhere and he was like “no I want to pick your brain about the next scene” I told him now was not the time. Long story short the day was not fun for me. I love every day in the industry but I had a ton of things on my mind and I did not want to listen to another shitty actor telling me sorry for being shitty.

 

That weekend I took my wife and my kids to our cottage to get away. But my cottage neighbour wanted to be annoying by doing fall cleaning or whatever. He started cutting dead trees down at 7am. I was over there at 7:05 telling him to please wait till 10. Normally I and he get along but he thought it was unreasonable. I told him I will show him what unreasonable was. So I proceeded to turn on every engine in my driveway and pointed the exhaust towards his cottage. It was 3 cars, 2 boats, 3 generators. This didn’t do much other than slightly annoy him. So I got on my ATV and started to rip around my property, which only tore up my ground. So I decided to “clean up” by tossing branches and shit onto his property. My wife told me to stop because I was acting like a fool. My son loved it and egged me on. But not because he is like me but only because anything “silly” I do he loves.

 

After a weekend of no relaxation I went back to work. I was fine till… maybe Thursday. That’s when I Snapped at a PA for screwing up the sides for the day. I turned to my 1^st and gave him all my notes for the next two days and left. I had no intention of finishing the week. I got home and washed my cars… oh about +5 my wife thought I lost it. Which I may have because I yelled at random dog that was barking for no reason. I normally love dogs. That night I put my kids to bed, had rough sex with my wife and went out with my friend Ryan for drinks because I needed it.

 

I honestly don’t remember what happened that night so don’t ask me. All I know is that I woke up in a comfortable chair in a lobby of a hotel in VARADERO CUBA!!! Apparently in the hours I was out I decided to go to Cuba with a few friends. Something me and Ryan used to, just to get trashed and have fun. My phone rang and it was my wife. At first she was furious that I was in Cuba, but then she said I probably needed to get away before I lose it on more people.

 

In Cuba, we drank to the point they tried to lock us in our rooms, so I bribed them to fuck off. Literally that’s what I said. It took maybe 5 cuc which is nothing. We found a fucking cave with nothing inside, so we proceeded to have a party in it till the tide came in and Ryan almost drowned. Which is all on GoPro footage. The MC/Host at the show at night the resort was truly horrible so I got up and took the mic from him and hosted the show. Well till he tried taking it back from me. I tossed like 20 cuc at him and told him to sit the fuck down on the mic.

 

We went on a “tour” of Havana but the tour guide didn’t let us see shit all, only showed us shops where her “friends” worked since I assumed she got some off the sales. I told her to fuck off and started my own tour. I offered to pay for everyone’s bus back to Varadero. So a loud drunk group us went around Havana till the police came and told us it’s either we leave the city or we get arrested. For once we actually picked the smart choice and left. I am sure my wife would have flipped if I was arrested in a communist country. The last few days were just heavy drinking. We didn’t even sleep on our last night and remember taking a bottle with me on the bus to the airport. Now here the fuck I am. Back. Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow