Dr. P. Ennis Takes a Peak Inside VHLM Players' Lives

[Thranduil 293]

I spotted John Madden and Basaraba Moose, outside a KFC in Halifax, spending some quality time together during the off-season before John heads to Switzerland to train with his new teammates in Davos. The two close friends have been busy enjoying each other's company, complemented by some KFC chicken, and seemingly weren't doing anything wrong, but as a reporter, its my job to find dirt on people so I decided to follow them for a bit. Fair warning, some of the stuff I witnessed was shocking, so if you don't have a stomach for horrible crimes and such, I would advise you not to read on.

 

The first thing I noticed as I watched from my perch upon the KFC roof was that neither of the young men bothered to say Grace before they ate their meal, an offense that is considered so horrible by me, that in any other situation I would have called the cops, but these boys are young, so I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. It is possible that I just arrived on the scene after they said Grace.

 

As I continued to watch their every move, John suddenly removed his sweater, revealing both of his bare arms! Part of me wanted to cover my eyes but I just had to look. What I saw next made me really question whether I was safe or not and I seriously contemplated leaving my hidey-hole, for quite some time, until I remembered that, as a reporter, I have to be willing to risk my life to get the dirt on people. I braved a second glance and to my horror, what I had seen was not a mistake. John W. Madden was wearing an AC/DC T-shirt! I shivered at the mere sight of the thing, but of course I was brave enough to hold my gaze for 5 full seconds. "Gosh Darn!" I said to myself, "Why did I decide to come here in the first place? I've gotten myself into a big pickle already and who knows what else these accursed children will conjure?"

 

Of course, me being the brave soul I am, I decided to stick it out and endure. I now have many regrets about that decision. After the two of them had spent a few minutes scarfing down unholy chicken, Basaraba claimed he needed to use the washroom. He got up and went inside the KFC restaurant, while I crept through the vents, looking for a view of the men's room. Eventually I found a loose ceiling tile, which I slid open a crack; just enough to see inside. I watched intently as Basaraba used the washroom, looking carefully for any sign of rebellious behavior. I saw none... That is until he finished at the urinal. As Basaraba walked promptly towards the sink, I was hoping he wouldn't role his sleeves up past his elbows, as I had seen enough arm nudity for one night. Looking back, the prior would have been much easier for me to cope with than what he actually did...

 

That's right folks, it's a cliff-hanger. If there is anything I've learned from being a struggling sports writer for 13 years, it would be that a good article must always end on a cliff-hanger to keep the audience interested. Feel free to venture a guess at what Basaraba Moose did and make sure to tell me if you want to know. Even if you don't, I will still be writing a part 2 because this story has too much golden information in it, for me to not cover it. 

 

Until then, this has been Dr. P. Ennis (The Dr. is unofficial, I just like to sound professional) with your weekly sports gossip and thank you for reading. May God have mercy on you all.

Edited February 17, 2019 by Thranduil