Landry Burns Self Trying on Mark Suit

[TurnDaddy 323]

Note to Self: Wood is flammable

 

 

Warning: This one’s going to hurt.

 

It's not every day you hear a story about someone burning their penis in a suit of armor, but today is one of those days. Thomas Landry showed up for practice today in Davos with his newly delivered MARK suit that teammate Tony Stark had recently donated to him. Landry figured he would get some ice time in with his suit and to get acquainted with it. What he didn’t know is that you should probably have some sort of clothing on underneath.

 

“I didn’t realize Tony had been wearing clothes under those suits. I always figured he was naked, that’s just how Tony would roll. I was dearly mistaken. I took the ice in my new suit and quickly realized I was in trouble. I started feeling a burning sensation all around my body, and especially down, you know, in my crotch area. I figured it was just normal and it wasn’t unbearable. It quickly became that way though. I felt like my dick was on fire! It didn’t even feel this bad when I slept with Kim Kardashian so I knew I was trouble. I took my helmet off, screamed for help, and Tony quickly came over to help me take the suit off. I feel to the ice buck-ass naked and my pen…my penis was literally on fire. I had other burn marks around my body, but my penis…IT WAS ON FIRE. WHAT THE F&%k?! Tony and the rest of my teammates were laughing at me for wearing the suit naked, but quickly realized I was in pain when they saw I was on fire. They quickly put the fire out and rushed me to the hospital. I won’t be wearing that suit naked again, that’s for sure.”

 

LMAO. I apologize for laughing at Landry’s misfortune, but how can you NOT laugh at a guy wearing a suit of armor, naked, and starts his penis on fire? I wish him the best of luck in his recovery though, even that this is funny as all hell.

 

[Squinty 116]

Made me laugh in class. Good job

[Kyle 667]

Lol'd in real life.