Struggling Reign Reportedly Look for Alternative Solutions

[McWolf 3,115]

Amidst yet another losing streak, the Riga Reign executive reportedly look for what we'll call alternative solutions to put the underperforming team back on the right track. Joseph McWolf agreed to talk about the nightmarish state at the Riga practice facility.

 

"It was rough. They brought all kinds of weird guys, doing tests on us and all. They got a couple pints of my own blood and injected it in Apollo [Hackett] and Lincoln [Tate]. Think they hoped they'd get as good as me, but we just ended up being sick as [censored], the British defenseman humbly said. Some people told me they gave my blood to some scientists and they tried to literally make another me. Like, a clone of me. How crazy is that?"

 

While these blood swap between roster players were happening, it seems the executives had plans for depth players and long-shot prospects as well.

 

"There are a couple of guys, they weren't on the team yet, but we used to see them around the facility once in a while. They'd hang or skate around with us and all. Well, we haven't seen them in a bloody while. Rumour has it they dismembered them and tried to re-assemble them into a super player. Do they think we're freaking Transformers?"

 

The tense situation defused earlier this week, with the new team captain taking action to save his teammates from living through more horrifying scenes.

 

"They were going to stick needles in our arms again, and Ryan [Kastelic] stood up in the locker room, saying he'd like to try to play at center, McWolf said. We all looked at each other and we stopped to think about it. We all knew right there. That was it. That's what we needed. The scientists and the shady people that ran all those tests on us packed their stuff and left. We were all blood relieved, to be honest."

 

Since Kastelic went from elite defenseman to star center, the Reign jumped back on the right track and won 4 of their 5 last games, including a shootout nailbitter against the league leading Legion.