Eller Offers Pre-Draft Thoughts on NA VHL Franchises

[Ace 85]

It is nearly draft time! What’s on the mind of these prospects? Well, let me tell you – it’s “Where the hell am I living and playing hockey for possibly the next 10 years?!” Let’s dive in and take a totally arbitrary evaluation of the North American VHL franchises (minus the new expansion location) and see how Frans Eller would view them as a destination.

 

Calgary Wranglers

 Calgary is an awesome town. I’ve been there before. It has the beautiful mountains around it, and despite it being a decent sized city, it has that small town feel. Everyone is super friendly. The winters aren’t great, but they aren’t as bad as Winnipeg or Edmonton. The Wranglers are known as a top tier team as well, and they finished 3^rd in the Regular Season with a record of 40-25-7. Seems like a pretty good landing spot, and Eller would be pleased to be a Wrangler.

 

 New York Americans

 NEWWW YORRRRKKKKKK, it’s what most Europeans think of when they think about the United States of America. A pristine, empirical skyline with the hustle and bustle of capitalist society. Infinite opportunity! Too bad they’re a basement dweller. They finished dead last, with a record of 20-45-7. This means that they most likely have a pick in a spot where Eller will be available, but with how bad they were, chances are they’ll be leaning in other directions by the time that their pick is due at the draft stage.

 

Seattle Bears

DA BEARSSSS. The Bears are another lower performing franchise, finishing 3^rd from last with  a record of 30-33-9. Without putting in an effort to actually analyze their roster, they seem like they are right on the cusp of contending with a young roster, or are an old franchise that are beginning their death rattle. The logo and team concept are vanilla, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen a bear that is quite that color red. Anyways, I’ve got history with Bana and while there’s been some bumps in the road, I wouldn’t mind playing for his squad.

 

Toronto Legion

They’ve got a fresh logo and branding, but I know nothing about this GM, and to be frank, Toronto sports fans blow donkey dick. They all think that they’re God’s gift to hockey, and yet, 99% of them are about as uneducated as Teddy who tries to bum a cig from you at Circle-K every time you get gas despite you telling him that you don’t smoke the last twenty times. I don’t know Devise, so no ill will there. They finished atop the league, with a staggering 53-12-7 record. Chances are I won’t end up with Toronto, so I am going to get the abrasive anti-Toronto thing going now. Fuck Toronto.

 

Vancouver Wolves

This is probably, of the North American franchises, where I’d like to end up the most. Vancouver, British Columbia is one of the most beautiful places on this earth, and every person I’ve met that is actually from BC is incredibly pleasant. The Wolves finished 2^nd in the VHL regular season standings for the North American conference with a record of 40-24-8. This team is knocking on the door of a Cup. Eller would love to be there for it.