The Terrible Trivium - Junior Review

[der meister 3,187]

On the Question of Motivation - A Closer Look at The Terrible Trivium

 

 

The Terrible Trivium is, well, to be frank, a demon. Hailing from the Mountains of Ignorance, The Terrible Trivium is known for being the purest form of style over substance. Typically seen wearing a dark suit with a well pressed shirt and tie, a white handkerchief in his pocket, polished shoes, and a particularly dapper hat, The Terrible Trivium is the preeminent expert on time wasting and trivial tasks.

 

“If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you’ll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult,” The Terrible Trivium’s recited in a recent interview. “You simply won’t have the time, for there is always something to do to keep you from what you should really be doing.” The assembled reporters are said to have thoughtfully rubbed at their chins in unison before setting down their notebooks and settling in for a nice, long nap.

 

While the jump from demonhood and his mountainside home to the virtual ice rinks of the world remains a puzzling decision, no one can discount the impact that the Patron Demon of the Lazy has had on the San Diego Marlins playoff run so far. Although it took a few games to get up to VHLM playoff speed, The Terrible Trivium notched a goal and two assists in the Marlins game 6 victory over the Minnesota Storm, catapulting the SoCal franchise into the second round of the playoffs.

 

The Marlins celebrating their first round victory.

 

Those three points also bumped The Terrible Trivium’s point total to 6, good for a point-per-game pace. This goes along with a +6 plus/minus rating and 14 shots on net, almost tripling the offensive opportunities he saw during the regular season. This is an incredibly noteworthy improvement from The Terrible Trivium’s regular season performances, which accounted for a goal and three assists in 15 games, along with a -9 rating and 18 shots on goal, for an average slightly above a singe shot per game.

 

The real question, however, is about the future production of The Prince of Procrastination. Can a creature quite literally born out of triviality and for the purpose of performing petty tasks have an impact on a sport known for its hard work and dedication? Only time will tell, but for now, perhaps it is in the best interest of those who follow the time-honored sport of virtualized simulation ice hockey to simply sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.