Important day

[jRuutu 2,432]

 

Gotta hand it to those Moscowanians, I tried to be cute when I predicted that they would be the ones who miss the playoffs, but in the end, they made it quite comfortably, and now they are playing against us in the first round of playoffs. Every game has been a tight battle so far, one-goal games, and unfortunately for us here in Helsinki, Moscow is leading the series 3-1 right now.

 

I don´t know if there is anything we could have done differently so far as a team, like I said the games have been close, every game has ended 3-2, which is quite interesting as well, but since we are facing a critical game today I thought I try to do everything I can to give us even a little edge. Is there a better place to start than openly sharing what I think about Moscow Menace.

 

You call yourself the ´Menace´, that is odd, when I look at that logo of yours, words like: jolly, Rudolph and chimney come to mind. When I try to say Menace with a Scottish accent, it sounds a little bit like mayonnaise. Moscow Mayonnaise, I like that.  When I see your fans all I can think of is how Adidas is not one of your main sponsors, have you tried asking?

 

 

The home arena and the ice quality is one of the worst ones out there, its year 2020, how about using a zamboni instead of a tractor with wet hay to clean the ice? The arena is full of smoke after each intermission and smells like motor oil. Why do you play only one song in the arena? If you are there for the whole game, you hear: Jock Jams - Are You Ready For This at least 18 times.

 

There is only one door on each bench. Safety nets behind the goals is dozens of see-through shower curtains sewn together. The locker room for visitors is just a tent at the back. The food offered to away team is whatever the bus driver can fish out from the nearby river.  

 

I dislike your team so much, I want to see you lose more than I want to see my team win. I wish worst of luck to you and nobody else. When the puck drops tonight I´m going to run your goalie over, but I´m going to make it look like its an accident, which is not that hard when you think how clumsy I am. If and when we are going to have a solid lead, I´m going to celebrate each goal like we just won the championship. If I score a goal, I´m going to skate past your bench for fist bumps.  

 

I can't wait for tonight, I´m going to grab something to eat now, maybe a big bowl of pasta. Then I´ll go back home for a nap. When I wake up I´m going to watch that movie your organization produced a couple of years ago, The Grinch I think its name is.

[ahockeyguy 110]

Dude I love the trash talk even when down 3-1. But I also liked that you explained the reasoning: the games have been close, so there's no reason to back down now. It might have been unnecessarily harsh, especially the poor arena complaining. Or at least I might think that if it weren't obvious this was written for laughs. And on that front I think you succeeded quite well! I enjoyed it, and I knew it was good because I could see this being a piece that Moscow would respond to with equal humor. Aside from all that, the only other thing I can think of is there are some grammatical issues (with respect to commas). Overall this is a good piece; keep it up! Score: 7.5/10