Scoring in the VHL

[Grape 545]

I simply do not know how some goalies can even continue playing knowing that Shawty Nananana scored on them. It's even worse that it has happened five times already. I mean, one of them was a shorthanded goal too! It's amazing that none have decided to retire then and there, right as the red light comes on. Shawty's shot has the accuracy of an alcoholic peeing into a toilet with the lights off and the power of Stephen Hawking throwing a football. When Shawty went to a charity event and was showing the kids how to do a slapshot, their shot was so weak it went backwards. The frictional force of the ice was somehow more powerful than the applied force of the slapshot. A catapult built out of marshmallows and held together by IQ of the average Floridian could shoot something with more force than Shawty. An infant during the 1600s could shoot something four kilometers away with a straight barrel musket and he'd have more accuracy than a Shawty slapper. Honestly Shawty should be a big determining factor in the regulation of scoring in the league. If Shawty is able to score a goal, then scoring needs to be brought down. Their passing though; cannot hate on the passing. Their passing has the crispness of a freshly opened Sprite Cranberry found in the Arctic Circle during Christmas, and the determination of a 14 year old prodigy accepted into Harvard University. Every pass has the accuracy of an Atomic clock and sets up the recipient for the perfect shot. In conclusion, the VHL is broken and needs to give Shawty 0 scoring to guarantee no goals ever are scored. That's the only way the league will ever be fixed.