Swords Wins Continental Cup (Theme Week)

[Eynhallow 412]

Swords Wins Continental Cup

 

As many of you know, I have been a proponent of establishing a VHL team in my home town of Swords.  The reasons are many and some of them even valid.  However, since this is The Twilight Zone (a.k.a. Alternate Reality) and since some of you may not have read about Swords in the various iterations of Moose Tracks, this is an article that covers the Slashers Continental Cup win in Season 93 (also known as “The Gilmour Season”).

The area known as Swords was first awarded a  VHL franchise in Season 89.  During that inaugural season the team was forced to play their home games in nearby Parry Sound on an artificial outdoor rink as their own arena had yet to be completed.  Season 89 was a very cold one, not only from an environmental point of view, but also from a team perspective as the Slashers only managed 12 wins and 3 ties (resulting in OTL’s) in a 72 game season.  The expansion draft had obviously been particularly unkind to Swords.  New GM Madonna Cannoli vowed, at the end of the season, to vastly improve his team.

 

 

Using the draft process and some artful, but possibly questionable, trading tactics Cannoli began to assemble the juggernaut that would become affectionately known locally as the Swords Sledgehammer.  The nickname in itself suggests the type of hockey that was played during the few seasons that the team was intact.  It took 3 seasons of mediocre hockey for all the pieces to be assembled whether through trades  or waiting for the youngsters to develop.

 

One of the elite players on the Slashers was Dancer McDangle.  Dancer was a Swords native son who had been drafted at the tender age of 27.  Dancer is also known for being a younger cousin of current VHL player Isau DaMoose.  We can only assume that cousin Isau influenced Dancer as he developed rapidly and with his highly skilled wingers, dominated the league in Season 93 with a 123 point season, 78 goals and 45 assists.  

 

 

During the Slashers legendary Season 93 they amassed 62 wins, easily the best in the VHL.  Of note, as well, the team accumulated 1567 minutes in penalties, Grizz Lee Bare, a third line left winger accounting for 463 PIM all by himself.  Needless to say, Grizz Lee also won all of the 18 fights in which he was involved and, no doubt, initiated.

 

 

That year, Season 93, Dancer McDangle led his team through the preliminary playoff rounds.  Undefeated until the Slashers met the renowned Riga Reign in the cup finals.  Riga had had a very successful season and were extremely motivated after their semi-final win against the Helsinki Titans.  The Slashers won their first two home games easily, then the series moved to Riga.  The morning before Game 3, McDangle nicked himself while shaving and was declared injured and unable to go.  Riga came storming back, winning their two home games against the McDangle-less Slashers.  Dancer recovered sufficiently to play in Games 5 and 6 which the Slashers won and captured their first Continental Cup.

 

Shortly after the Cup win, Dancer McDangle suddenly and unexpectedly retired in the prime of his career.  He went on to become a meerkat herder in the Kalahari Desert of South Africa and never played professional hockey again. In a brief farewell interview, McDangle disclosed that he was allergic to ice.

 

 

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To be claimes as a PT Week of May2

Edited April 12, 2021 by Eynhallow