DoktorFunk 810 Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 Well, I'm really bored at work so I guess I'll write one of these. But about what? Well, considering I very rarely write one of these, let's do some incredibly accurate personality appraisals by using a HOROSCOPE! Whichever team you're on, I'm confident this is in no way false. Feel free to DM me and let me know how right I was! Calgary Wranglers The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. Much like your namesake, you like making order out of chaos. You go with the flow and find a way to streamline every single obstacle. Sure, you don't plan too much ahead, but that's okay. This approach gets you pretty far, but very rarely do you fully achieve what you set out to do. "So close and yet so far" is your motto, so better to look at your work and really put in that extra effort to get you over the hump. In your love life, you take things very seriously, but you adapt well and listen to the emotions of others. Plus, you're much like a horse in more ways than one. Chicago Phoenix The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. Your passion is what defines you. You will go as hard as possible into every situation, and damn the outcome. Sometimes this hurts you, but this often pays off as well. Most will respect your drive and will strive to be like you. You react best to a challenge, and hate being bored. In a relationship, you sometimes overlook the feelings of your partner, but your sex life is amazing. There's a reason they say Phoenix's rise! DC Dragons The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. You like working really hard and then relaxing as soon as possible. Plus, you're really into smoking week. Like a lot. Like Cheech Marin is making vacation plans to DC because of how much ganja you're rocking. Sexually, you're usually too high to do anything. HC Davos Dynamo The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. People always expect more out of you than you deliver. They're often making excuses for you. But, your charm and personality carry you through most situations, and people can't help but love you anyway. Still, you can't help but want to be better, but you never can seem to step it up. In bed, you're big, purple, and lazy. Helsinki Titans The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. You're the gentle giants of the world. The ones who tower above all others, whether it be through height, intelligence, personality size, etc. Still, sometimes you're a little too complacent and your stature can cause you to be a little lazy. Compensate for this by finding someone who hates you. Like, 100% fucking despises your guts. You're a people-pleaser, and this will bring out the best in you. When you get intimate, lucky you, you're big. London United MORE LIKE "LOINDON UNTIED" LOL. But seriously, I haven't paid that much attention to London. In bed, I dunno... you're into butt stuff. LA Stars The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. You are a star, and you act like it. Embrace your selfishness. It's what gives you strength. When you get down, do a shit ton of cocaine and drink a lot. That'll probably be healthy. Whilst in an intimate relationship with someone, you tend to be really warm. Too much so. You're a furnace, and you'll probably cost your partner a lot as far as the electrical bill is concerned. Remember to change out your Freon. Malmo Nighthawks MaLMAO. The star that burns twice as bright burns our twice as fast, and that's true for you. You love the night, and so you go out to the clubs a lot. You have a sick neon sleeveless shirt that says BOOTY PATROL. You wear it everyday. You like The Big Dog store because those shirts are amazing and you love American flags because these colors don't run. Sexually, your partner says "Not now, I'm tired" a lot. Moscow Menace Все люди рождаются свободными и равными в своем достоинстве и правах. Они наделены разумом и совестью и должны поступать в отношении друг друга в духе братства. New York Americans The stars and stripes that burn twice as bright burn our twice as fast, and that's true for you. If you stop and listen for a second, you'll hear an amazing sound. It's something you very rarely hear, and it's quite special. That sound is silence. Silence in the Arenas. Silence on the forums. Silence in the discord. Silence from the players. No one cares about New York, and if you break the record for longest time spent without a cup, no one will bat an eye. Sexually, you like to lead people on. You collect people to give you attention, then discard them. Prague Phantoms Purple. Riga Reign Rising up, back on the streetDid my time, took my chancesWent the distance, now I'm back on my feetJust a man and his will to survive So many times it happens too fastYou change your passion for gloryDon't lose your grip on the dreams of the pastYou must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tigerIt's the thrill of the fightRising up to the challenge of our rivalAnd the last known survivorStalks his prey in the nightAnd he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger Face to face, out in the heatHanging tough, staying hungryThey stack the odds 'til we take to the streetFor the kill with the skill to survive It's the eye of the tigerIt's the thrill of the fightRising up to the challenge of our rivalAnd the last known survivorStalks his prey in the nightAnd he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger Rising up straight to the topHad the guts, got the gloryWent the distance, now I'm not going to stopJust a man and his will to survive It's the eye of the tigerIt's the thrill of the fightRising up to the challenge of our rivalAnd the last known survivorStalks his prey in the nightAnd he's watching us all with the eye of the tigerThe eye of the tigerThe eye of the tigerThe eye of the tigerThe eye of the tiger Or is your logo a lion? Seattle Bears You like to win. Toronto Legion Much like your namesake, there are a lot of you, you only speak Latin, and you're from Toronto. No one has any idea what the fuck you're saying most of the time, unless they grew up Catholic. Your favorite hobbies involve sharpening your sword, reading long scrolls written by ancient dead dudes, and marching in formation. In bed, you count your strokes. Vancouver Wolves I'll be honest, I'm getting pretty bored at this point. You like cheese? Warsaw Predators Let's just say you have a lot of restraining orders filed against you and your name is Doug. Want to leave a review for me? Please don't. Good luck with your life! Ledge 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/103246-every-teams-horoscope/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ledge 1,131 Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 12 minutes ago, DoktorFunk said: Or is your logo a lion? ah mate, this cracked me up DoktorFunk 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/103246-every-teams-horoscope/#findComment-846663 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crstats23 340 Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 You got me signing eye of the tiger well done DoktorFunk 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/103246-every-teams-horoscope/#findComment-846664 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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