Bunclewirth, Peepants Stunned at First Round Selection

[JardyB10 4,865]

(AP) Miami, FL -- As the S78 VHLM Dispersal Draft winds down in the twilight hours of the night, part-time Houston Bulls defenceman Poopy Peepants gets a phone call. In fact, he got several, but was sleeping through all of them.

 

He was not expecting to have to be alert this early.

 

"With the 10th overall selection in the S78 VHLM Draft, the Miami Marauders are incredibly excited, and are 100% that this is the absolute best thing to do, to select Poopy Peepants of the Houston Bulls and also the Independent Grocers!" Miami GM Zack Gagnon proudly exclaimed earlier this evening.

 

Associated Press contacted his agent, former VHL Commissioner Jardy Bunclewirth for comment on his player's early selection:  "Man, I don't know what the f*ck Rockstar was thinking. He knows Poopy just learned how to skate in January, right?"

 

Peepants seemed to be just as stunned.

 

"Hello? Sorry, I just woke up. No, please, call me Paul. Wait, what? First round? Oh no... this doesn't mean I have to play on the first line, does it?" the young Poopy defenceman said in a remote call with AP.

 

It's been a week full of surprises. Be sure to check out Jardy's Hecking Podcast when it drops later this week for the full off-season breakdown from the perspective of a washed up garbage man!

 

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