Austin Towbaker Trade Rumors

[The Domino Archives 334]

Hello everybody watching this on VHL Network! This is Dominic Drawes, you might know me as Austin Towbaker's agent. Today we have asked many people in the Greater Toronto area, would Towbaker get traded? And surprisingly, a lot of people said yes! So we have asked them also who he would be traded for on what team. And here is what the crowd said!

 

"Towbaker? Great player. Was hoping he would be drafted by Toronto so we could have a kick-butt player. But sure, let him play in his hometown. Fucking stupid. We would love him to play for the Legion. Fuck Chicago. Just holy cow."

 

-Guy we found off the street

 

"HE NEEDS TO PLAY FOR TORONTO RIGHT NOW!"

 

-Bob

 

So yeah, there was a lot of non-advertiser friendly words that the Legion fans had to say. But there was a Calgary fan that we spotted and he never actually dropped a swear.

He just said that Towbaker should play for Calgary. That's it.

Many fans in the greater Toronto area. Probably the VHL capital of the world! We found Malmo, Calgary, Davos, London, every team! And most people wanted Towbaker on their team, along with The Red Menace as their starter. So these trades are what the fans want.

 

MALMO TRADE:

 

MALMO:

A. Towbaker

 

CHICAGO:

S84 MAL 2ND

 

The Malmo fans know how to think. They think the most realistic of the entire VHL. You might think I'm biased, but all of the Malmo fans said the exact same thing. All 1000.

"Personally, the Malmo fans are the most coolest fans that I've met. I've also talked to Christopher James at the draft hall. You know, just about life and stuff. He wouldn't draft me, I just wanted to meet him. He's also a chill guy for a GM." 

 

- Austin Towbaker

 

MOSCOW TRADE:

 

MOSCOW:

A. Towbaker

 

CHICAGO:

S84 MOS 2ND 

 

Just the same with Malmo fans, they have actual brains up in there. Actual reasoning for the win!

"I never got to meet Euron, I had to rush right out of there as soon as the draft ended. I had a party to go to, no beer, just a party. I hope I do get to meet Euron soon!"

 

-Austin Towbaker

 

The trade rumors were in the Greater Toronto area. So it would be obvious that we would have at least one in Toronto.

 

TORONTO:

A. Towbaker

 

CHICAGO:

S84 TOR 1ST

 

This trade is overshooting the likes of Towbaker. He is not worth a 1st. Definitely not. 

"I'm honestly scared of Toronto a little bit. I've traveled there once and there we so many people recognizing me. My face and my jersey were probably the common ways they would find the information of finding me. There were so many different feelings about me. Some people insulted me for my give-away against Minny which lead to a goal. That happened last year! And hearing these people saying that they want me on their team, it scares me! Toronto doesn't have a goalie yet so that would be bad. They should call up Oskar, eh? *Laughter* Free pads just to sweeten the deal, huh? *Instense Laughter*" 

 

Towbaker... he isn't really fond of Toronto. This kid isn't even a player in the VHL. Toronto fans are calling him bad, calling him good, calling him the most overrated player in the entire VHLM! So to you guys, respect players, ok? Or he might make jokes about your goalie problem. So... your choice.

 

This is Dominic Drawes, signing off.

 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2021 by Domino

[The Domino Archives 334]

This might be the most effort I've ever put in an article.

[JeffD 648]

As the current GM of Austin Towbaker this article has my mind in a pretzel.

[The Domino Archives 334]

12 hours ago, JeffD said:

As the current GM of Austin Towbaker this article has my mind in a pretzel.

don't trade me i like chicago plz-