James Teekirque Reflects On His First Season In The VHL

[Mongoose87 384]

Captain’s Log, Stardate 20220519

My progress in the hockey world of this other Earth continues. I have graduated from their developmental league, the VHLM, to their European minor league, the VHLE, and finally to their highest level of competition - the VHL. I was selected 14th overall in the draft by a team out of Davos, Switzerland - shockingly, a real country on this earth, as well - known as the HC Davos Dynamo.

 

The people of HC Davos have greeted me warmly and quickly, and have accepted me as one of their own. In a practice that seems to be very common for sports teams on this Earth, I have been asked to participate regularly in press conferences, answering the inane questions the local sports media has prepared.

 

I’m disappointed to say that the team’s performance on the ice has been, well, disappointing. Despite my herculean efforts to the contrary, at time of writing, we are two points away from the worst record in the league, with the second-worst goal differential. I have scarcely begun to recognize faces before they are shipped off for the promise of draft picks, sold at market like a dead Ferengi's desiccated parts. The concept of trading players is considered at best crude and at worst barbaric, in the UFHD, let alone for a completely unknown asset, but here it is not only common, it is considered prudent!

 

I had expected better. I had expected that my transition from the derelict hulk that was the Oslo Storm would finally bring reprieve from the hopelessness endemic to last season. I had expected to learn something about the antiquated hockey methodologies at the highest level of this VHL. I had expected that my quasi-ancestors would not treat their athletes as commodities! I have been disappointed on all three counts.

 

Well, I'm not going to take this lying down. Oh, no, that's not how James Teekirque operates. James Teekirque doesn't quit. I've gone into the corner against the Horn and come back out with the puck.

 

James Teekirque doesn't give up. I've turned countless Romulan odd-man rushes into little more than embarrassing misfires, and many into scoring chances for my own team!

 

James. Teekirque. Does. Not. Surrender.

 

When Khan Noonien Singh challenged us to defeat his lineup of genetically modified super skaters, I came out victorious.

 

I will forge success from this fire. When the scenario appears impossible, your simply change the rules.

 

After all, I don't believe in no-win scenarios.

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Mongoose87