Feeling the Burn

[Gustav 6,469]

This offseason will see two teams changing GMs in London and Vancouver, the first time (I think) since I left Davos back in S81 after becoming the franchise's longest-tenured GM (though far from the most successful). I was going to write this article about how this was the first GM opening I thought about applying to since I quit, but seeing as (I think) it's the first GM opening at all, I'll alter that angle a bit. 

 

I think it's a good thing that I'm feeling a slight urge to get back in it. S82 was the first time since S65, my first-ever season in the league, that I wasn't GM of one team or another, and it was exactly what I needed since by that point I had lost a great deal of motivation and also wasn't going to have a great deal of time. I could recreate without thinking about where my player would fit into my team needs or whether I needed to go out of my way to pick myself, I didn't have the obligation to keep my own server active, and I didn't have to feel guilty if it wasn't--all things that helped VHL me get things in order and arguably helped real-life me out quite a bit as I could pour all the time I had into school. And I know there weren't any VHL openings to be had in that time, but other leagues had theirs that I could have applied to. The thought crossed my mind, and left it about 5 seconds later, that I could make a return to VHLM GMing at some point (I've said myself that I was a damn good VHLM GM, and if you know the extent to which I refuse to give myself credit for things like that, you would know I'm not kidding when I say I was a damn good VHLM GM). And though this thought hadn't crossed my mind until about 10 minutes ago, I am curious about VHLE GMing. Other than the fact that I'd have to live online again to be as active as I want to be as a VHLM GM, my reason for not being interested at the moment is that the guidelines that VHLM GMs have to follow are beneficial overall, but I would find them annoying to deal with as a former GM who generally acted in good faith when said guidelines didn't exist and teams could be operated with some level of freedom (Perhaps that's an essay for another time). Anyway (can you tell I'm writing this at 3:00 AM yet? I know this drags on and jumps from place to place at the same time somehow), VHLE GMing would be cool because those pressures don't exist as much and there's less pressure to build a team successfully than there is in the VHL. It might be the right balance of development and competition for me...and maybe we'll see what happens with those openings at some point.

 

Can I honestly say that I want to GM again right now? Not really, but the answer isn't the hard no it was a season ago and that's progress. When I do decide to apply for an opening, any opening, I want to do it with full confidence that I want the job and think I'm capable of doing it well. I'm sure I'll spend some time getting passed up, too, because there are many good and qualified members who haven't had a chance yet. In the meantime, I enjoy the league as a player too, and I can't wait to see what's ahead!