4 years since I joined the VHL

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

We recently just passed my VHL birthday on June 16th, marking 4 years that I've been a member in this wonderful community. There are numerous topics I thought about writing about, but I feel as though personal lives aren't discussed enough around here, for good reason I suppose.

 

A lot has changed for me in the last 4 years since I joined the site. When I joined I was heading into my senior year in high school, 17 years old. It's crazy to think that 4 years later, I'm heading into my senior year of college at 21 years old. That's like, a MAJOR life time slot I've somehow fit all this into. I would come home every single day and check games to see how badly Halifax had kicked another team's ass, feeling dope that I was in control of such a powerhouse. Bragging aside I was able to maintain VHL with my life as I went through that senior year and as I graduated. Cool enough, right before graduation, I got a girlfriend for the first time in what felt like forever, and shit was awesome. That summer, everyday consisted of working a 9-8, doing VHL shenanigans, and then seeing my girlfriend. I'll admit, after a while that schedule got kind of exhausting, and my girlfriend also felt that way so literally 12 hours before my plane ride away from home and off to college, she DUMPED me on the damn BEACH. It stung and I don't mean to sound dramatic, but I think that was the first domino to fall in what would be a tough few years for me. I went off to college far away from my family and had moved out entirely at 18 years old, which these days seems more impressive than it used to be. I was afraid to be completely honest. I was in a new state surrounded by new people with a new life, and still reeling from my breakup, I entered what at the time was the lowest point in my life. I grew up being this tough, stereotypical hockey player who refused to show emotion, but man there were too many nights that first month of college where I couldn't sleep because I was crying too much. It ate at me and I told myself I wanted to move back home, but I finally got a bit of hope. My college hockey season had started and it gave me an outlet. Sure, I got teased, hazed, pranked, everything just because I was a rookie in college, but I was apart of a family, almost like a frat if you will. A few weeks later I met a girl who I thought was just so amazingly beautiful and we connected so well, we filled each other in as people and it was magical. After a month of sneaking around acting as though we were friends, I finally got the courage to ask her out and even though I had dated before, I don't think I have ever been so in love with someone from the first time I saw them. It seemed as though everything was looking better for me and this was going to work out after all.

 

December 14th, 2019 will forever stick out to me as the day my life changed the worse. Less than a month after asking out the girl of my dreams, I'd get hurt in my team's last game of the fall semester. I was on defense when my center picks up the puck in the opposite corner, and I start skating diagonally towards our bench with a full head of steam calling for it. The puck touches my stick and in less than a second I'm staring up at the rafters. I thought to myself, "Well fuck, that hurt." I threw up in my mouth a bit, sitting there on one knee I got hit so hard, I couldn't tell if I was breathing, I wasn't sure if I got the wind knocked out of me or not. I took one step towards the bench, and then everything goes to black. I come to staring at the ice, nothing going through my head, nothing telling me to get up, nothing telling me to move, just sitting there thinking "yep, that's ice I'm looking at." I had been out for over 45 seconds, long enough for trainers to be by my side already and paramedics waiting in the lobby. What happened was the dude who hit me had 6 inches and 150 pounds on me, so not only did he clean my clock, but my head took the brunt of the hit because he was just taller than me, and then the back of my head bounced off the ice when I fell. I remember throwing up on the bench after and watching the rest of the game next to the backup goalie, answering the same question over and over and I kept asking the woman treating me, "what the fuck just happened?" I spent the night in the hospital with a grade 3 (severe) concussion just a week before Christmas break.

 

My birthday is 5 days before Christmas, so this incident took place just 6 days before my 19th birthday. I was set to fly home the day before, but rain in Denver caused my flight to be grounded to well over an hour, so I ended up missing my connection in Seattle. I didn't get in until 12:30am and the best they could do was rebook me for 15 hours later, and that's how I spent my 19th birthday sleeping on the floor, alone in the Seattle airport, with a major concussion. Yeah, definitely not on the list of cool birthdays. Something did happen though during that Christmas break, I saw my best friend from high school again and he was RIPPED. We weren't loners exactly, but to put it lightly, I was really the only one he bothered to hang out with. He told me that since I left, he wasn't sure what to do with himself, so he hit the gym grind hard, and man did he ever. He showed me the app he was using and I was hooked right away. The entirety of that winter break, I spent in his garage lifting weights with him, it was awesome. I follow this passion still, working out 6 days a week, and this moment where he introduced me to his new hobby stands as the inspiration for my career path. For those that are unaware, I'm now a certified personal trainer, and I'm working of getting my dietary certification all thanks to my friend for tuning me into how sick lifting was.

 

After getting back to college that spring, this little disease you may have heard of started making the news. I didn't think much of it, just some sickness making it's way into the US. I like everyone else thought I was getting a two week spring break, which turned into an entire summer of sitting on my ass doing long distance with my girlfriend. That summer I attempted a comeback to the VHL and it went solid for a while, but soon again realized I just didn't want to do it, so I left again. I went back to school that fall and moved into a new, bigger dorm which was sweet. But around this time I started having issues with my girlfriend, at the same time I was struggling in classes and my health was not there at all. I loved fitness but gyms being closed for over half a year meant I had every excuse in the world to just not try and so I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I fought with my girlfriend a lot, and a school year that just had everything going wrong, got worse when we broke up in April 2021. The weeks after I became that worst possible version of myself. I wasn't angry, didn't lash out, none of that, I just let myself go in every possible way. I stopped showering, only ate fast food, I'd stay up till 6 in the morning playing video games, and I stopped going to class entirely. I failed all my classes and I was just this smelly, overweight, gross kid in college. I was at the lowest point in my life and knew it. I was lucky enough to grow up and not go through "normal teen emotions" such as anxiety or depression, but boy was I sure depressed heading into the summer of 2021. Although some life changing stuff would pop up on my Instagram on this exact day one year ago. My hockey teammate had started the 75 Hard challenge and was documenting his progress. I looked at the challenge and thought "damn, that's pretty cool" and decided to give it a shot. For those unaware, the challenge puts you through the ringer giving you tasks every day to complete for 75 straight days, one fail and you're back to day 1. I didn't make it through to the end, but by the time it was all said and done, I had lost 40 pounds, back to my original weight from a year prior, and I was in a much safer head space.

 

I moved in with my best friend at the time who happened to be a lesbian chick. We did everything together and it just felt right, so we got an apartment last summer. I was also close with her girlfriend, who was pretty much living with us at the time. For the first time in my life, everything felt like it was back on track, and I was talking to a new girl, the first since my breakup. Everything was awesome, and for the first time since my concussion, I skated in a college hockey game for the first time in close to two years. Everything can only be so short lived though. See, the thing about moving out at 18 meant I've been financially independent since I was 18. I didn't have the money to go home for the holidays. My parents had gotten a divorce shortly after I began my freshman year at college, and I couldn't afford a plane ticket to either one of their houses. I made the toughest decision ever to stay in Colorado for the holidays and just work. And if you were wondering, yes, it was very sad spending my birthday, christmas, and new years alone. To make matters worse I was stood up by the girl I was seeing and when my roommates came back, they suddenly decided they wanted to make my life suck. My new years resolution was to be nicer to myself, to not let things bother me as much. It sucked being shot down by that girl, hearing "I like you, but I'm in love with another guy" just like it sucked when my roommates would come back drunk every night and yell at me for some random inconvenience I caused them.

 

I talked with those two multiple times, I felt disrespected in my own living space, but they didn't care. I spent all spring listening to parties on a nightly basis while I'm trying to sleep, hearing what once was my group of best friends, say just hurtful things about me as if our walls aren't thin and I can't hear everything they're saying about me. I tried to not let that stuff bother me, but yknow at a certain point it's hard not to take things personally. This past spring wrapped up nicely for me though. My grades were the best they've been since coming to college, and I started getting out more. I started dieting and spending more time in the gym, which has led me to new friendships with people I never thought I'd even talk to. I even started talking to a new girl I've had my eye on for a while and things are going well. I wish I could give you guys a sort of redemption arc where things look up, but this brings us to present day as I'm writing this. I'm looking for a new place to live because I don't like living with these people anymore and just trying to figure it out one day at a time. But man, does it feel good to finally be back in the VHL, and I haven't even gone inactive yet!

 

2,091 words

Week of 6-19

Week of 6-26

Week of 7-3

Week of 7-10

 

Edited June 27, 2022 by ShawnGlade

[Gustav 6,470]

I'm a big fan of life updates, and I'm sure that many know that I've been guilty of using the forum to get my feelings out there before. If you ever need anything, feel free to hit me up.

 

What's the best way to start working out consistently? I'm in the "have started but still very much a beginner" phase at the moment--I like what I've done so far but would love to be more informed about it.

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

5 hours ago, Gustav said:

What's the best way to start working out consistently? I'm in the "have started but still very much a beginner" phase at the moment--I like what I've done so far but would love to be more informed about it.

Honestly what I tell most people who struggle with getting to the gym is finding motivation goes a long way. It’s real easy to stick to a plan for a day, a week, a month whatever, you won’t have issues going soon because you’re trying something new and you’re excited about it. The problem is that feeling wears off, and 4 months from now on a rainy Tuesday where maybe you have to do some unfun exercises, people lose lots of motivation. For me it was enough to just immerse myself in it. I made it so everything in my life revolved around lifting and eating right, that became my identity. I got the idea from “Atomic Habits” which said in order to become something, you have to act like it. You’re not training LIKE an athlete, you’re training because you ARE an athlete, so live every day like it.

 

What got me started was wanting to be a better hockey player. I love Nathan Mackinnon, so I wanted to train like he did, eat like he did, etc. so I would watch highlights before my workout with the volume up and pretend it was me. It sounds silly but I’d watch some crazy goal between sets or whatever and that’s what got me psyched out. It’s not selfish to use others as motivation either, I’ve told myself “these girls are gonna think I’m strong as fuck if I do this set with proper form” when they probably wouldn’t even care. It’s just my two cents, most of the battle is eating right and having a good mindset, working out is only 20% of it

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

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[ShawnGlade 1,010]

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