Womp on the Playoffs

[AdamEss 58]

As is the usual way, Womp Womp Womp Womp Womp Jr stands at the media podium and refuses to take questions.

 

Womp: Good news ya sacks of shit. The season's almost over and then I move on to the E and I'm somebody else's problem. In the meantime I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen and then misquote me. Every one of your readers knows when I say fuck. It's ridiculous that you try to hide it. This ain't 1728 and no fancy ass offended Bishop is gonna have you ex-communicated you spineless twerps. So report it right. Start now. Halifax went down with exactly the level of fight we all knew they had. None. Not only did they lose, but they gave Philadelphia a bye to the finals in the process. Great going there Halifax. I can only hope Philly's been staying sharp in practice since they upset Ottawa. And believe me, Ottawa is upset as hell on the best of days. Comes with the territory of being the 4th most important city in driving distance and your only notability coming from no one wanting to give Toronto the capitol. Looks great and does nothing might as well be the city slogan and it was absolutely true of the team this season. 11 Ridings and yet Ottawa can't go anywhere. Not to take anything away from Philly. I respect them. Philly is my kinda town....if I wanted to be stabbed in church. Philly's the kind of place where they'd take your witness account for a crime and then throw you in prison too for snitching.It's a tough town for tough people in brightly colored swishy jackets. The Reapers are a team that belongs in the finals though. That leaves us. We gotta get there. 1 game away right now as the Aces managed to beat the snot out of us game 67. of course. They're the Aces. This kinda shit is what they do. But we got those fuckers on the ropes, don't we? All we need is 1 game. They've been getting back pats and blowjobs all season about how great they are. they're supposed to be here. Hell, they're supposed to be done already. You can't get your back up to pull out all the stops for a win you're already supposed to have. That's why we have everything to gain and they have nothing. They don't have the fight. They don't have the spine. They don't have the heart. These idiots are confused and lost and don't know what to do. it's called a challenged. Also quick sidebar to all my old teammates over there. I'll see ya after the season ends. Love all of ya. Anyway, every single player on the Aces is basically a terrified child waiting to be told what to do. Some of my dearest friends on that team though, and they've had a great season. Children. Great people, practically unstoppable. Like frightened rats though. Anyway. This is what it comes down to. Mexico vs Vegas again. Winner goes the finals and faces a hot Philly team for the cup. Either way we party. Hell I say all three teams should meet up after the finals and go spend a couple days somewhere we can relax and cleebrate. A nice easy place with no challenges. How does Miami sound?

He leaves without further word, as is his way.