Maple Controversially Elected Mayor

[dogwoodmaple 380]

In a stunning turn of events, Vancouver Wolves forward Dogwood Maple was elected as the new Mayor of Vancouver last week.  There were some rumblings that Maple might be eyeing a career in politics, but many thought he would wait until his playing days were over to pursue it.  When asked about his unlikely electoral victory, Maple was absolutely flabbergasted

 

"I didn't even put my name in to qualify! I honestly have no idea how this even happened. I mean I guess I'm popular among fans, but this is just hard to believe.  When the City Council called me I thought it was a prank.  I legitimately hung up on them the first few times they called. Finally they had to send someone to my house and tell me in person with the certified results. And of course the media has had a field day with this.  There were rumors that I would be retiring from the Wolves or that I didn't love hockey any more.  Just absolutely crazy type stuff."

 

Maple, however, was quick to dispel these unfounded rumors.  He announced on twitter that he had no desire to retire or quit playing hockey and that was still his number one priority.  He even sent a formal letter to the City Council announcing his intention to not accept the role of Mayor.  That's where things got a little problematic for the star forward.

 

"So I sent this letter to the City Council telling them that there was some kind of mistake and I definitely would not be the next mayor of Vancouver.  I informed them that I never even put my name in the running and it had to be a prank or something.  That's when I was informed that I am required by law to take the oath of office and spend at least some time as mayor.  There are only avenues for resignation after you become mayor and there are no ways to invalidate the voting.  They literally sent a police officer to my house who was going to handcuff me and haul me off to City Hall for the swearing-in ceremony," Dogwood explained.

 

He was given a temporary reprieve due to the season opening game as he was able to call in a favor downtown.  

 

"They told me that because the city had made such a hullaballoo about the opening series that they couldn't afford for me not to be out there, so the police officer just took me to the City Council's office where I met with their attorney.  We spent all day going over old case law and statutes to determine if I could delay this at all to give me additional time to play this season out.  The conclusion was....that there was no conclusion.  My attorney is continuing to talk to theirs to try and see what we can do.  I absolutely do not want to be the Mayor, let me be clear about that," Maple said.

 

Although Dogwood has cast doubts on his interest in the mayoral race, some opposing fans and rumor mongers are wondering whether or not he did this to try and boost his presence around the league.  That remains to be seen, but this story is far from over.

 

535 words

 

[Dom 1,445]

This here is quality forum content. I love it.

[Subject056 1,205]

Dogwood for Mayor! I'm all for it haha. Awesome write up, this was really entertaining to read.

[Daniel Janser 2,184]

'DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE  ballot box?'

 

Royal Canadian Mountain Police being busy catching fugitive Mayors...

Edited June 23, 2023 by Daniel Janser

[AJW 2,157]

So which day are you declaring to be Dogwood Maple day?